Author: Grounded African

Proudly South African mum to a bright and gorgeous young human. Employee. Life Coach in the making. Blogger. Fascinated with and passionate about people and helping them grow.

Another year older…

I get to experience “New Year” twice in one week.  The first time on the first of January like everyone else.  The second, on my birthday,  a week later.  The second one always feels more important to me.   It’s when I really take stock, decide on my goals and lay down plans to make those goals happen.

I haven’t always done things this way.  I have largely flown by the seat of my pants for most of my life.   There are goals that I had as a teen that I actively pursued but I didn’t really understand what I was doing.   Looking back, knowing what I now know,  I see why and how I managed to achieve certain things and why I didn’t achieve others. In the last 3-4 years I have gotten into the habit of creating goals and actually thinking through how I will achieve them.  I know, scary that it has taken me this long but  I still believe in “better late than never”.  I have been reading about goal setting for a while and have even written a few down but I never had the discipline to plan how to make it happen.  It became clear that setting goals was a fruitless exercise if you had no plan on how to achieve them.

I have been talking to different people and reading different books in order to find a method that would work for me.  In my last post, I shared a method that I believe in and will be implementing this year.  If you missed it, you can read more about it here.  I have come to realise that, although I may have lived most of my life flying by the seat of my pants, I am actually a creature of habit on a day to day basis so this method should be pretty easy to make mine.  Will keep you posted on how it’s going as we move along through the year.

I will leave you with a pearl of wisdom from the African continent to inspire you…#African #Lifeskills #life #groundedafrican #motivation #africanproverb

If you enjoyed this post, please like and share.

Bye for now

The year that was and the year that will be

It’s the last day of yet another year.  A year that has brought many a great moment and many sad moments too.  I have changed over this year and I like the changes I see.  Fears have been faced.  Obstacles have been overcome.  New habits have developed as well.  I see the world differently today compared to 365 days ago.  I am blessed.  For all of this, the highs and the lows, I am grateful. To the people who have supported me and been there for me, I thank you.  The greatest thanks goes to God for guiding me and shielding me this past year.  Nothing is possible without Him.  Of course the two VIP males in my life must be mentioned as well, my son and my boyfriend as they have been my rocks.  I could not have gotten through this year without them. Thank you both.  2017 is for all intents and purposes over.  2018 is on our doorstep and I am super excited to open that door and let it in!

I was reading the story of Warren Buffet and his pilot, Mike Fint,  and the “two list” strategy earlier.  In a nutshell Mr Buffet’s advice to his pilot to help him achieve his goals in life was as follows:

  • Step 1 – write down your top 25 career goals.  (I know, it sounds daunting doesn’t it.  Once you start though, you will be surprised at how quickly you get to 25 so give it a go.  It doesn’t have to be career goals, it can be anything you want to achieve).
  • Step 2 – review the list and circle your top 5 goals.

You now have 2 lists.  List 1 contains your top 5 most important goals and list 2 contains 20 goals that are important to you but probably have a lower priority.  If you are like Mike Flint, you are probably telling youself that List 1 is the list you will focus on and list 2 you will get to as when you have time between the items on list 1.  Yip, that’s what I was thinking too.

Guess what…the story goes that Warren Buffet told Mike Flint to put that list aside.  List 2 is your “Avoid-At-All-Cost” list.  He apparently says that you should not give the items on this list any attention until you have succeeded with your top 5.  List 2 will be a distraction.  Success requires focus.

2018 brings with it new hope and new opportunities to grow, to learn and to succeed.  I stand on the otherside of the door, waiting to open it,  armed with the tools that life has brought my way.  One of those is my new found habit of meditation.  Yes, I eventually got myself into the habit and I am so glad that I did.  The last few weeks have been a different experience compared to the rest of the year especially at work.  You can read more about the changes I have experienced thus far on my Quora page.  I highly recommend you give it a try in 2018.

I won’t be making any New Year Resolutions for 2018.  I will, however, be setting myself those 5 goals and then implementing the new habits that I will require to make those goals a reality.  Sounds weird right.  Think about it though.  How many times have you set yourself a goal and made no changes and expected success?  How many times have you achieved success this way?  I am guessing that it was probably none. Whenever you have achieved success, you made a change somewhere in your daily life in order to make it happen.  In every interview I have read about how someone has lost weight for example, they will all say the same thing, they had to develop new habits in order to succeed.  Some created a habit of running/exercising everyday.  All developed the habit of drinking more water and all had to create new habits around mealtimes and the way they thought about food.  They had to make changes in order to be successful.  So yes, I will be setting goals and creating new habits within my daily routines that will allow me to focus on those goals and give me every chance of succeeding.

Before I go, I would like to say thank you for your continued support this year.  Thank you for all the messages I have received over the past few months after you have read my blog.  Please keep them coming in 2018.  Your messages are valued.

Lastly,  I would like to wish you all a very Happy New Year.  May your 2018 be filled with love laughter and prosperity. Please don’t drink and drive and do strap your yourself and your children in if you will be on the road.  Definitely don’t forget your sunscreen 🙂

You are more than your reflection in the mirror

I was at the mall this evening and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror.  My first reaction was a sinking heart.  I haven’t gotten around to dyeing my grey hairs and, to my eye, it just made me look way older than I would have liked.  I walked around the mall with a heavy heart about the way I looked.  As I drove home though, it dawned on me how silly I was being.

Well, of course,  I look older.  I am a month shy of my 45th birthday after all.  I have almost 45 years of living under my belt.  Not existing…living!  I have loved, I have lost, I have laughed, I have cried. I have travelled and I have spent many days in my little space on earth called home.  I have known a level hardship and I have known abundance.  I have worked my butt off for all that I have and I am proud of it all.  I have carried and borne a child. I have raised him almost single-handledly for 7 of his 9 years.  Dammit, I have earned my grey hairs!  In fact, I am blessed to have them. I am enough grey hairs included 🙂

It made me question why I have allowed this growing culture of superficiality to rule my perception of myself?  The funny thing is that, as a general rule, I do not follow people on social media whose pages are filled with pics of themselves only.  I believe that we all have a depth to us and that is what makes us interesting.  Having to scroll past pictures of people’s faces only is boring to me.  I want to know about the person behind the face.  I want to know what makes them tick.  What experiences have etched that line or that scar on their face?  What experiences have they had that I or anyone else can learn from.  Every experience has a lesson in it.  In fact, did you know that Human Libraries are popping up all over the world? You can find a link to a website about it here. South Africa is a melting pot of cultures and challenges. Can you imagine the rich stories waiting to be told?

#Life #Lifelessons #Blog #groundedafrican #teacher #mirrorimages #dontjudgeabookbyitscover

“I am because we are”.  “It takes a village to raise a child”. These sayings have always been the heart of African culture.  They are still true today and always will be.   The reality is that children learn from what they see, what they hear and what they experience.  We all do.   If we are spending all our time admiring ourselves in a cell phone and a mirror, we are teaching children that that’s ok.  If that’s all we post then we are probably teaching our children that that is the way to define themselves.  That feels very shallow to me and I feel that it sets them up for a fall especially as they get older.  It also opens them up to a whole host of other problems as well but that is a topic for another day.   If wisdom is gained through life experience, and all they know is based on what people look like, what type of world are we creating for future generations?

Have you ever noticed how the most revered actors and actresses are known for their abilities and consistent accomplishments and not for their looks.  Have you noticed how they come across as attractive/sexy even though they don’t fall into the category of “classically beautiful/sexy”?  I mention them because we are so focused on the entertainment industry these days and hold people up for their looks and not their talent.  Often they are “flash in the pan celebs” and fade away because they had no talent to carry them through.  I would imagine it is more rewarding to be known for your achievements than just because you are good-looking. After all, looks do fade eventually.

At the end of the day, we have become so obsessed with our looks that we have forgotten that we have so much more to offer the world.  Here’s to embracing our physical selves for what it is.  There is no harm in wanting to look good in fact it is good for you to be happy with what you see in the mirror, however,  being obsessed with your looks and defining yourself by your looks can only lead to problems down the road.  After all even beauty queens know that a national or international competition is merely a stepping stone to making the right the connections to do what that really want to do.  Even they need to have substance and not just be a pretty face to win.  When last have you heard of a Miss South Africa that didn’t have a degree?

So here’s to growing older gracefully.  To focusing on making ourselves better and this world a better place for future generations.  To sharing and celebrating our knowledge and experiences so that that others may benefit and grow from them.  Most importantly, here’s to being treasured for the positive touches we leave on the people around us and not only for what we look like.🥂

If you enjoyed this post then you know what to do…please like and share.  Drop me a line in the comments section as well.  I would love to hear your views.

Bye for now!