Tag: #Life #Lifeskills #groundedafricanblog #african #groundedafrican #perfectionsucks #iamenough

5 things I would change if I had to had to go back into time

I was looking at my skin in the mirror the other day and thanking God for the good genes that He has blessed me with.  Unfortunately, genetics is not enough to keep my skin looking good. It definitely lays a great foundation though! 🙂  I haven’t always looked after my skin. In fact, as with most things, I started my face care routine a little late in life. This got me thinking about some of the tweaks I would make if I could live my life over.
 
#1. Don’t forget your sunscreen!
As a kid, summer was my favourite time of year.  I spent many hours in the sun swimming and playing outside.  As an adult, I have spent many hours at the beach and driving in the sun.    I never ever applied sunscreen in all that time. Shock and Horror!   No doubt it’s the reason for the damage I see on my face today.   It would be a lot worse if I didn’t eventually heed the warnings out there about the dangers of sun exposure.  SPF50 is now my friend.  Remember…it’s never too late to start the habit either.  I know it sucks trying to find one that doesn’t leave you looking ghostly if you are a person of colour. It looks like the companies are getting better at it.   We live in hope I  guess.
#2. Don’t smoke
Let me start by saying that I LOVED smoking.  I loved the ritual of smoking.  I loved lighting the cigarette and taking that first deep pull on it.  I loved smoking while drinking coffee (my other vice) or after a good meal in particular.   Yip…you get it…I LOVED smoking.  The thing is though, if I had never started, I would never have known what I was missing out on.  It’s been almost 5 years since I stopped and I will never go back.  Stopping was not easy and brought on a host of other issues so nope…I am not going to start once more.  I have no desire to go through that drama again.  This leads me to #3…
#3. Be an exercise junky!
Here’s the thing…once my life as a student ended, I became quite sedentary.  I also had a car so walking hectically long distances was no longer necessary.  Initially, the weight crept on.  You could still find me dancing the night away in the club over the weekends. The impact of having a car was negligible.  I stopped clubbing.  Well…that’s when the problem really started. The weight started creeping on faster and faster.  I was in denial.   I had been thin my entire life.  “This can’t be happening to me”.  I did nothing.  Then…I had a baby.  The weight piled on.  Only then did it twig that I better get my A into G and move.  I lost some.  I gave up smoking…sigh.  I gained loads more than I had lost!   Yip…Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho it’s off the gym I go.  I’ve got this!  This war I will win.  An exercise junky I will become!
 
#4. Take more risks
Those of you that know me, know that I can be quite scared of my own shadow at times.  I have probably missed out on a lot of opportunities in various areas of my life because taking a risk scared me.  There are times when I see my son been afraid of taking risks. My heart breaks because I know that he is missing out on something exciting that he will actually enjoy.   Sometimes he surprises me and faces his fears head-on.  That’s when he inspires me to face mine 🙂 
#5.  Fail more often
One of the reasons I didn’t take more risks when I was younger was because I feared failure.  I was soooo embarrassed to fail.  I am also a control freak.  The problem with taking a risk is that you don’t know how things will turn out.  Being in control has kept me feeling safe.  Life is short though and safe has become boring so my new life rules have become:
  • “I won’t get if I don’t ask”
  • “I won’t learn if I don’t try”
  • “I can’t win it if I’m not in it”
This is the tip of the iceberg for me.  Striving to give my son a great life experience has forced me to question my beliefs. I often have to unlearn things so that I can relearn them, especially through his eyes.  The world becomes a marvellous place again when looked at through the eyes of a child.
I leave you with an African Proverb …
#africanproverb #groundedafrican #african #blog #learning #life #quotescreator
Photographer: M. Frankson Venue: Kenneth Stainbank Nature Reserve, Durban

 

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The year that was and the year that will be

It’s the last day of yet another year.  A year that has brought many a great moment and many sad moments too.  I have changed over this year and I like the changes I see.  Fears have been faced.  Obstacles have been overcome.  New habits have developed as well.  I see the world differently today compared to 365 days ago.  I am blessed.  For all of this, the highs and the lows, I am grateful. To the people who have supported me and been there for me, I thank you.  The greatest thanks goes to God for guiding me and shielding me this past year.  Nothing is possible without Him.  Of course the two VIP males in my life must be mentioned as well, my son and my boyfriend as they have been my rocks.  I could not have gotten through this year without them. Thank you both.  2017 is for all intents and purposes over.  2018 is on our doorstep and I am super excited to open that door and let it in!

I was reading the story of Warren Buffet and his pilot, Mike Fint,  and the “two list” strategy earlier.  In a nutshell Mr Buffet’s advice to his pilot to help him achieve his goals in life was as follows:

  • Step 1 – write down your top 25 career goals.  (I know, it sounds daunting doesn’t it.  Once you start though, you will be surprised at how quickly you get to 25 so give it a go.  It doesn’t have to be career goals, it can be anything you want to achieve).
  • Step 2 – review the list and circle your top 5 goals.

You now have 2 lists.  List 1 contains your top 5 most important goals and list 2 contains 20 goals that are important to you but probably have a lower priority.  If you are like Mike Flint, you are probably telling youself that List 1 is the list you will focus on and list 2 you will get to as when you have time between the items on list 1.  Yip, that’s what I was thinking too.

Guess what…the story goes that Warren Buffet told Mike Flint to put that list aside.  List 2 is your “Avoid-At-All-Cost” list.  He apparently says that you should not give the items on this list any attention until you have succeeded with your top 5.  List 2 will be a distraction.  Success requires focus.

2018 brings with it new hope and new opportunities to grow, to learn and to succeed.  I stand on the otherside of the door, waiting to open it,  armed with the tools that life has brought my way.  One of those is my new found habit of meditation.  Yes, I eventually got myself into the habit and I am so glad that I did.  The last few weeks have been a different experience compared to the rest of the year especially at work.  You can read more about the changes I have experienced thus far on my Quora page.  I highly recommend you give it a try in 2018.

I won’t be making any New Year Resolutions for 2018.  I will, however, be setting myself those 5 goals and then implementing the new habits that I will require to make those goals a reality.  Sounds weird right.  Think about it though.  How many times have you set yourself a goal and made no changes and expected success?  How many times have you achieved success this way?  I am guessing that it was probably none. Whenever you have achieved success, you made a change somewhere in your daily life in order to make it happen.  In every interview I have read about how someone has lost weight for example, they will all say the same thing, they had to develop new habits in order to succeed.  Some created a habit of running/exercising everyday.  All developed the habit of drinking more water and all had to create new habits around mealtimes and the way they thought about food.  They had to make changes in order to be successful.  So yes, I will be setting goals and creating new habits within my daily routines that will allow me to focus on those goals and give me every chance of succeeding.

Before I go, I would like to say thank you for your continued support this year.  Thank you for all the messages I have received over the past few months after you have read my blog.  Please keep them coming in 2018.  Your messages are valued.

Lastly,  I would like to wish you all a very Happy New Year.  May your 2018 be filled with love laughter and prosperity. Please don’t drink and drive and do strap your yourself and your children in if you will be on the road.  Definitely don’t forget your sunscreen 🙂

Perfection is overrated!

Yip. I don’t know about you but I have spent virtually my entire life trying to be perfect. I have wanted the perfect body, the perfect social skills, the perfect walk, the perfect hair, the perfect skin and the list goes on and on! Why you ask? I thought it was what I was supposed to strive for. Strangely enough, I believed that I would never be accepted by society if I wasn’t perfect.  Aah the pressure we place ourselves under.

So here’s the thing…it turns out that I am enough as I am 🙂 Yip you read that right.  I am enough as I am.  The funny thing is that I am more than 30kg’s heavier than I was at 20 (when I was at the height of my perfection angst),  my skin is still as oily as it was then.  I now have all these dark marks on my face from adult-onset acne.  My skin colour has gone from a beautiful olive colour to a darker shade from years of sun exposure.  Despite all of these so called imperfections, I am at peace with myself.  Ok ok, the weight still has to drop as it’s just uncomfortable and unhealthy  but other than that I am at peace with myself.

Yes I was probably pretty close to being as perfect as one can hope to be without photoshop back then but I had no idea.  I chased an ideal that I saw in magazines and read about in books.  Let’s face it, heroines were generally beautiful and had it all together.  I wanted to be like them.  I wanted to wear the smart clothes and have a cool little flat.  I wanted to be on the arm of a great looking guy who had it all together.  Here’s what I have come to realise though…

Good looking guys who have their shit together are made not found

The good-looking guy who has it all together…a rarity.  He exists but they are generally taken.  Turns out that that guy generaly hooks up with a woman from a youngish age and she helps him evolve into the guy who has it all together.  It’s either his girlfriend or his mom who helped him reach his potential.  So single ladies out there, that guy that you know in your heart is a good guy and is your best friend but he may not have it all together yet but you know he has the potential to.  Give him a try and grow with him.  You will make lots of memories together in the process to share with your grandchildren one day 🙂

FOMO sucks

Time spent fearing that you are missing out on stuff because you don’t have a social life like the people on facebook is time wasted.  Your social life doesn’t define you.  Pursuing your passions and the impact that you have on the world is what defines you.  You define you.

#quotecreator #life #lifeskills #Iamenough #groundedafrican

Physical perfection is overated

Just like we all have our personality quirks, we have our physical quirks as well.  I have skinny ankles.  I was so conscious of them.  I hardly ever wore three-quarter length pants or midi skirts.  Then one day I got overmyself and embraced them.  I asked myself what the worst thing that could happen would be if I put them on show and decided that people would always find something to point a finger at and snigger.  That’s their problem and not mine.  I love my skinny ankles so much now that I even had them tattooed!  I live in three-quarter length jeans now too.

So there you have it.  I am by no means perfect but I am definitely enough.  For this I am grateful. It’s ok to have quirks.  It’s ok to be you. Relax and enjoy it.

Thanks for reading my blog.  Please leave a like or a comment.  I would love to hear from you on this topic.

Until the next time,

Bye

 

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