Sons Are the Anchors of a Mother’s Life – Sophocles

Bloganuary Day 16

Today’s Prompt: Describe the happiest day of your life

Today’s prompt is a no-brainer for me. The happiest day of my life was August 7th 2007. That was the day I found out I was pregnant. I used a home pregnancy kit and I remember it being a wednesday evening. I was in complete shock for a few seconds and then complete and utter joy swiftly overtook that shock! I was so excited I literally wanted to shout it from the roof top.

I lived alone and was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. I still had to have it confirmed by a dr but I new in my heart that was merely a formality. I spent that entire night planning on how I was I going make space for my child financially especially as I knew I was going to be a single mum from the get go. I hadn’t planned on falling pregnant but I felt so blessed by this wonderful surprise that God had gifted me with.

The next happiest day was the 7th Jan 2008 when I foound out he would be a boy and then of course, the day of his arrival was the 3rd happiest day of my life. I have been so fortunate that he has made motherhood a relatively easy going experience. We have had the usual ups and downs and thankfully we have come out of each episode stronger 😊🙏I am so blessed to call him my son.

My 💖
Just the two of us having some fun over the years
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Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday I received the most beautiful bouquet of flowers from our team at work. It was a congratulatory gift for completing my BA degree. I was thrilled and very grateful for the gesture. It was only this afternoon that the thought occurred to me that I don’t give myself enough credit for my achievements. I need to acknowledge me more often and, more importantly God, for only through Him are all things possible.

My beautiful flowers

So I want to take this moment to acknowledge God for making it possible for me to complete my degree while I was:

  • Getting my head around a new role in which I had to relearn old skills and learn new skills all at the same time (I am still not where i need to be but I will get there)
  • Acting as chairperson in our body corporate for the last 2 years
  • Buying a new home and adjusting to a new relationship at the same time
  • Dealing with the end of that relationship, the loss of my mother and the break-up of my family all at the same
  • Giving my son and I the space to grieve together for the loss of my mum in particular
  • Adjusting to a diagnosis of diabetes and learning to live with it and how to overcome it
  • Working on healing and growing myself through the use of self-help and spiritual books
  • Working from home during the lockdown and trying to ensure that my son maintains a certain level of education all by myself. At the same time I did the Mind Power course. I also had to ensure that all the lockdown regulations were being followed in our complex and prepare for and write my exams. (I have to say that it was exhausting juggling everything and I still can’t believe that I passed my exams1 )
  • Supporting my son in all his sporting endeavors and making sure we maintain a good quality life and that he hardly ever feels neglected and just doing my best to be as good a parent as I know how to him.
  • Losing my favourite aunt almost exactly year after losing my mum. The whole experience was like losing my mum all over again.
  • I started writing and got my blog going and have written on other platforms like Medium an Quora. I have enjoyed this tremendously!
  • Fitting in assignments between travels to Dubai and China.
  • And of course, trying to be a good friend, sister, daughter, cousin, aunt and niece to those I love and have given me their support.

It’s been an amazing 6 years. Most of the stuff mentioned happened in the last 3 of the 6 years. So it’s been quite a ride! Phew! I deserve those flowers at the very least I think ..lol.

I am taking a break this semester and aim to start my honours in Psych next year. I am so excited about that! It will be my first honours degree! My end goal is a Phd in Psych and I have no doubt that I will achieve. It’s only a matter of time. God will go before me and make a way.

I have done this exercise for another reason as well. Listing your achievements helps to change your mindset from one of lack to one of abundance and success. The thinking is that you will remind yourself of what it feels like to be successful so that you continue to feel those feelings and draw more success to yourself. Nope, it’s not hogwash. I invite you to think back to a time when you were feeling really great about something. What other good things suddenly started happening to you? I can guarantee you that you received a welcome surprise while you were in that state. If you pay attention , you will find that these welcome surprises pop up when you are thrilled about something good that has happened in your life or are in a state of deep and authentic gratitude.

I encourage you to go ahead and list your achievements and all the things you had to overcome to get there. Remind yourself of what a successful person you already are, because you are!

Thanks for reading this piece. Covid19 is still a real threat so stay home and stay safe.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

christmas tree with baubles
Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

 

14 days and counting! I am so excited! My tree is up and my son and I have decorated the house a bit. This is the first time ever that we have our tree up so early and that we have decorated the house. The Christmas spirit is alive and well in my home this year!

This is the first year that my son and I will wake up in our home on Christmas morning. We would normally sleep over at my mother’s on Christmas Eve. This of course meant spending the afternoon locked in my room at my mom’s, wrapping gifts. Ideally little should have been napping at this point so that he could make it through midnight mass, but FOMO is his second name so my dad would distract him instead.  He would rather dose off during the mass so that he was fresh as soon as the mass was done 😂. Before church he would put out the biscuits and milk for Santa and then into the car.  I would drink half the glass and through half the biscuits in my bag and put the gifts under tree before joining everyone in the car.  Coming home to discover what Santa had left under the Christmas tree while we were away has always been my son’s favourite moment at Christmas.

He would always check the milk and biscuits first as soon as he got in the house. The absolute excitement on his face when he sees that the milk and biscuits are finished was priceless. Proof that Santa was definitely there! Yay! Next he would check under the tree and lo and behold…Santa has not disappointed him! There lay all the gifts! In those few moments, his belief in the magic of Christmas is sealed and there is nothing anyone can say or do to shake it. Seeing the wonder and joy in his eyes is gift enough for me.

The past 2 Christmas’s have been very different. The first one, my mom was sick so he didn’t sleep at her house on Christmas Eve and the second, he spent with his father’s family. It was our first Christmas without my mum and I thought it would be better for him to spend it elsewhere to distract him. Luckily, despite these disruptions in our Christmas routine, he still believes in Santa and is looking forward to our first Christmas at home. I am thrilled because that belief in Santa is what makes Christmas magical and neither of us are ready to stop believing in that magic just yet.

I have to admit, it has taken a lot of reinventions of the truth as he has gotten older to keep him believing in Santa. He still believes that I have Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy’s numbers. The story has now evolved to the fact that there are so many more kids in the world today that these 3 characters need help. They now rely heavily on parents to be their helpers so that little people are not disappointed😜. He also knows that he has to “believe to receive” (one of our directors at work taught me that trick). He is no idiot so sometimes a few doubts creep in but the need to believe is stronger and overrides his doubts every time.

He has received his gift early so he is not expecting anything under the tree but of course, Santa will surprise him. I can’t wait to see the look on his face on Christmas morning!!! Today he was trying to suss out how I would go about buying him a gift without him knowing since I am at work all day and he is with me when I am not working.  That brain of his is always busy trying to figure this out.  He also clearly refuses to accept that Santa won’t leave anything for him under the tree.  He is holding on to his hope.  Well…since he believes, he will have to receive.    

This year we will start creating a new Christmas routine. We have already started by putting up the tree and decorations early and I am so excited about that. I must admit that I have no idea what that routine will be so we will just do what feels right in the moment this year and build from there every year. All I know is that I can’t wait for Christmas!!!

Christmas wreath on door
Our first Christmas Wreath

What are your Christmas traditions?  Do you spend it with family or do you prefer to be with friends? How do you keep your kids believing in the magic of Christmas?  Do you believe in it?  

Looking forward to hearing from you!  All the best with your Christmas preparations!

 

 

 

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