Category: Life

The search for enlightenment

Hey there,

It’s been a while since I last wrote.   Apologies. I have been doing more reading than writing of late.  I think my curiosity just needed some feeding 🙂  It was feeling a bit starved and out of sorts.  Anyway, the other day I came across the following line in “A year of miracles” by Marianne Williamson…

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I was fascinated.  So much so that this statement has been rolling around in my head for days now.    I have also been engaged in an argument with a friend about what education really is.  It’s like the universe really wants me to give this some thought.  Who am I to say no.  So here goes…

According to the Oxford dictionary, “enlighten” means to “Give (someone) greater knowledge and understanding about a subject or situation”  and to “educate” means to  “Give intellectual, moral, and social instruction to (someone), typically at a school or university.”   Enlightenment is clearly a deeper state of learning than education.  Okay…

I guess for many, education is costly and feels unattainable.  It largely teaches you skills and to think critically.  Einstein said that “Education is not the learning of facts, but training the mind to think.”  Society places a high value on those qualifications that you attain through education so they are very aspirational for many.  The reality is though that you can walk out of university with tons of knowledge but very little wisdom.  I should know.  That definitely describes me on the day I walked out of tech with my food tech diploma in hand.  Once I got to start using some of my skills (I say some because I have never worked a day in my life as a Food Technologist) , and after many conversations with a few older and wiser people, I came to understand that there was more to life and I didn’t really have a clue.  I also realised that the successful and wise people knew things that I could only learn from talking to them or, reading books that they have written or,  watching interviews with them on YouTube or TV.  They don’t know it all but they definitely know more than me and they never stop learning.  Thankfully, they are also more than happy to share their knowledge and pearls of wisdom.

So wisdom clearly has that extra layer.  Wisdom is having the knowledge and knowing where, when and how to use your knowledge effectively to create a win-win situation for all involved.   You don’t need a university education to have wisdom.  In fact, you don’t need a university education to be successful. I’m not saying don’t get one, but there are many examples of true entrepreneurs who never bothered and are worth billions today.  The late Steve Jobs and Richard Branson come to mind.  It’s still not enlightenment though.  Enlightenment is on another level.

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Yesterday I happened upon a video of Oprah Winfrey being interviewed by Stanford students.  You can watch it here.  Light bulbs started flashing in my head…I felt like I had a better grasp of  what enlightenment is.  The video is long (aprox. an hour) but worth the watch.  Oprah, the late Maya Angelou and the Deepack Chopra are examples of people, who I believe, seek enlightenment.  They all have several traits in common:

  • They are authentic.
  • They practice gratitude.
  • They have used their life experiences to gain wisdom.  (They have definitely not walked through life with their blinkers on)
  • They believe in a Higher Power.  They listen to – and surrender to It.  They are fearless because of their faith.
  • They have learnt to let go of that which is not working for them and have learned to embrace what does,  even if it flies in the face of convention.
  • They are not attached to their filters of the world.
  • They often self-reflect in order to keep growing and learning.
  • Most importantly (to me at least), they have found their purpose and are constantly finding new ways to help others achieve the same.

I could go on and on but I am sure you get the point.  I suspect that ultimately, we are all working towards achieving a level of enlightenment in our own way.   The path does appear to be relatively linear i.e knowledge to wisdom to enlightenment, well at least for adults.  Children appear to be pretty enlightened already and then we cloak them with knowledge and filters that dims their little lights for a few years. 😦

All best of on your search for enlightenment.  I will leave you with one last quote that really resonated with me while researching this topic.

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If you are reading this is, it probably means you have made it to the end. 🙂  If you enjoyed it, please like and share. Oh and don’t forget to follow me if you would like to see more in the future. 

Thanks!

 

 

 

How I quit smoking

It’s February 23rd, 2013.  It’s about 1 pm.  I am standing outside and smoking what will prove to be my last cigarette.  I remember feeling a spot of fear in the pit of my stomach.  I had just finished reading “Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking” by, you guessed it, Allen Carr.😁 I thought back to a month before when I stood in Exclusive Books at the airport and contemplated whether I should give up or not. There were so many very good reasons why I should stop and yet I hesitated.  I loved smoking!  I bought the book anyway.

Nonetheless, here I stood, savouring my last cigarette as instructed by Allen Carr.  I would love to tell you that it was the book itself that made me quit, but, I realise now, that it was me. The book, however, did give me many reasons to really think about why I smoked, what would happen psychologically if I stopped and, how I survived life’s joys and stresses before I lit my first cigarette.

Not long after I got home on the Friday evening, I started reading it with the intention of quitting when I was done. By 1 pm that Saturday, I made the decision to stop for good. I smoked that last cigarette and have never looked back.  Let me not lie to you, the first 3 days were hard! In fact, on day 3 I felt like a junkie in a rehab centre for about an hour or two. I just lay on the couch and rocked back and forth.  It felt like I was going to die. My little munchkin was a trooper and just let me be. At the end of the day, nicotine is addictive and like all other addictions, there is a physical and psychological component to it. You must overcome both. The good news is that it is perfectly doable. It’s been 4 years, 6 months and 1 week since that day and I haven’t looked back. I will not lie, I miss the habit but not enough to light another cigarette.  I am done.

There are several reasons why I believe I was successful.

“Acceptance is the first step to commitment” Benjamin P. Hardy

1. I had accepted that smoking was bad for me and that I wanted to stop when I started reading the book.  Like other smokers, I had previously scoffed at the warnings of impending death and told myself that I would die anyway.  Watching my son grow though made me realise that I wanted to live to watch him become a man and hopefully enjoy a grandkid or two as well. I was also tired of smelling like an ashtray.

2. I approached the book and the process with an open mind. It helped me work through the how’s and why’s of my smoking habit and nicotine addiction. For me it was important that I separate out the two in my mind as they needed to each be acknowledged, understood and dealt with differently.

3. Once I understood the difference between the habit and the addiction and accepted it,  I was able to internalise what I call “mental hooks” to hold onto when my resolve wavered.

“Commitment is a prerequisite to making proactive and purposeful change” Benjamin P. Hardy

4. I was then ready to commit to quitting smoking which I did. Fully. The thing about addiction though is that you have to wake up every day and commit to not starting the habit again. Fortunately, just like learning to drive or riding a bicycle, you become “unconsciously competent” at it after a few weeks. Ultimately,  I was fully committed to the decision to change my behaviour and that made all the difference.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what method you use to effect change in a particular area in your life. What does matter is your level of commitment to it?  There’s a great article on Medium about this. You can read it here.

My next challenge is losing 30kg. I will keep you posted on my journey. This is going to be a much longer road but I am finally ready for it and I am committed to it.

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Monday Monday 

Omg…it’s Monday again! I can’t wait for tonight through. I will be plonked in front of my TV as soon as I’ve put my son to bed with my snackables and a nice warm blanket to watch GOT…the final episode! 😁 I will be switching off from social media to avoid any spoilers today since I am guessing some of you were up at 3 to watch it. 😜. Definitely not looking forward to the withdrawal symptoms for the next few weeks. They are going to be crazy! 


To think that up until they started advertising season 7, Anthony and I had never watched GOT (Game of Thrones). We also happened to get uncapped wifi at the same time and found seasons 1-6 on showmax. Well…we became  GOT junkies overnight! We binged watch every night as soon as my son was asleep😂. It was insane! Sleep was overrated! We went into withdrawal waiting for season 7 to start🤦🏽‍♀️😜. Now our fix is coming to an end again. Dang it! I feel like I am about to give up smoking all over again! 

Guess we will have to find a new series to binge on in the meantime. Oh wait…”Narcos” is back on Netflix next month!  This cloud has a silver lining after all. 😁We also have our eye on “The Tick” on Amazon Prime. Have any of started watching that? Is it any good?

Reading is my first love but on Mondays, the TV programming guys definitely know how to take the edge off the “Monday Blues”. 😁 It’s the small things in life that keep us sane. 

I would love to about your favourite series that sends you into withdrawal at the end of every season! 

Have a brilliant week! Don’t forget to like and share this post if you have enjoyed it. You can also sign up via email so that you receive them in your inbox especially if you are having a social media blackout😉. Don’t worry, your email is safe with me.