You are more than your reflection in the mirror

I was at the mall this evening and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror.  My first reaction was a sinking heart.  I haven’t gotten around to dyeing my grey hairs and, to my eye, it just made me look way older than I would have liked.  I walked around the mall with a heavy heart about the way I looked.  As I drove home though, it dawned on me how silly I was being.

Well, of course,  I look older.  I am a month shy of my 45th birthday after all.  I have almost 45 years of living under my belt.  Not existing…living!  I have loved, I have lost, I have laughed, I have cried. I have travelled and I have spent many days in my little space on earth called home.  I have known a level hardship and I have known abundance.  I have worked my butt off for all that I have and I am proud of it all.  I have carried and borne a child. I have raised him almost single-handledly for 7 of his 9 years.  Dammit, I have earned my grey hairs!  In fact, I am blessed to have them. I am enough grey hairs included 🙂

It made me question why I have allowed this growing culture of superficiality to rule my perception of myself?  The funny thing is that, as a general rule, I do not follow people on social media whose pages are filled with pics of themselves only.  I believe that we all have a depth to us and that is what makes us interesting.  Having to scroll past pictures of people’s faces only is boring to me.  I want to know about the person behind the face.  I want to know what makes them tick.  What experiences have etched that line or that scar on their face?  What experiences have they had that I or anyone else can learn from.  Every experience has a lesson in it.  In fact, did you know that Human Libraries are popping up all over the world? You can find a link to a website about it here. South Africa is a melting pot of cultures and challenges. Can you imagine the rich stories waiting to be told?

#Life #Lifelessons #Blog #groundedafrican #teacher #mirrorimages #dontjudgeabookbyitscover

“I am because we are”.  “It takes a village to raise a child”. These sayings have always been the heart of African culture.  They are still true today and always will be.   The reality is that children learn from what they see, what they hear and what they experience.  We all do.   If we are spending all our time admiring ourselves in a cell phone and a mirror, we are teaching children that that’s ok.  If that’s all we post then we are probably teaching our children that that is the way to define themselves.  That feels very shallow to me and I feel that it sets them up for a fall especially as they get older.  It also opens them up to a whole host of other problems as well but that is a topic for another day.   If wisdom is gained through life experience, and all they know is based on what people look like, what type of world are we creating for future generations?

Have you ever noticed how the most revered actors and actresses are known for their abilities and consistent accomplishments and not for their looks.  Have you noticed how they come across as attractive/sexy even though they don’t fall into the category of “classically beautiful/sexy”?  I mention them because we are so focused on the entertainment industry these days and hold people up for their looks and not their talent.  Often they are “flash in the pan celebs” and fade away because they had no talent to carry them through.  I would imagine it is more rewarding to be known for your achievements than just because you are good-looking. After all, looks do fade eventually.

At the end of the day, we have become so obsessed with our looks that we have forgotten that we have so much more to offer the world.  Here’s to embracing our physical selves for what it is.  There is no harm in wanting to look good in fact it is good for you to be happy with what you see in the mirror, however,  being obsessed with your looks and defining yourself by your looks can only lead to problems down the road.  After all even beauty queens know that a national or international competition is merely a stepping stone to making the right the connections to do what that really want to do.  Even they need to have substance and not just be a pretty face to win.  When last have you heard of a Miss South Africa that didn’t have a degree?

So here’s to growing older gracefully.  To focusing on making ourselves better and this world a better place for future generations.  To sharing and celebrating our knowledge and experiences so that that others may benefit and grow from them.  Most importantly, here’s to being treasured for the positive touches we leave on the people around us and not only for what we look like.🥂

If you enjoyed this post then you know what to do…please like and share.  Drop me a line in the comments section as well.  I would love to hear your views.

Bye for now!


A ghostly encounter…

I always seem to have odd experiences when I travel internationally. This experience though was definitely the weirdest!

A decade ago, I visited Cairo, Egypt for work. My flight was long and there had been delays so I was pretty tired when I arrived. I checked into my hotel on the Nile. The first key card I was given didn’t work. When I returned it to reception, the supervisor intervened. He was a creepy looking fellow with stringy looking comb over. He gave me a sinister smile and handed me a new key card. It was for a different room. A room on the eight floor. The way he looked at me made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I was tired though and soon forgot about him. I immediately fell asleep on entering my room.

By the time I woke up, it was already evening, so I ordered room service, watched a bit of TV and then went back to sleep. It was at this point that things started to get a little weird…I found myself in a half asleep half awake kind of state. I’m sure you know what I am talking about. I suddenly heard breathing in the bed next to me. My heart was pounding. I opened my eyes and next to me lay a youngish looking boy. He had dark curly hair. I couldn’t see his face.

Needless to say, I was terrified! I remember thinking…thumbs in eyes, thumbs in eyes, to debilitate him should he ever come closer even though I knew he wasn’t real. (I know right…What the Heck was I thinking!) Then I started to say the Our Father. I repeated it over and over (with my eyes closed of course!) until I heard the breathing stop. Once my heart had stopped racing, I passed right out again.

The next morning, I went downstairs to wait for my driver. The creepy looking supervisor, stepped up to the desk when he saw me approaching. Once again he had that sinister smile on his face. He looked me in the eye and said: “My, you look rather tired. Didn’t you have a good night’s sleep?”. In that moment I knew that he had deliberately put me in that room. He knew what I would encounter. I did not give him the satisfaction of knowing why I looked so tired. I merely wrote it off to jetlag.

I spent another 2 nights in that room and didn’t have another incident (Thank goodness!). I hope my next visit to Egypt will be as “haunting” but for the right reasons😜

This post was first published in

If you enjoyed my story you know what to do…please like and share😁

Tick Tock Thursday #1

Recently I shared with you how I have learnt to create time in my day to do the things I want to do. If you missed it, you read it here . I have also been participating in Oprah and Deepak’s 21 day meditation challenge. The theme of challenge has been “Making every moment matter”. You can still access the last 5 days meditations hereif you interested. Firstly let me say that I am blown away that they can talk about time in 21 different ways! It got me thinking though. I have decided to challenge myself and make my Thursday blogs about different ways to use time efficiently, hence the “Tick Tock Thursday” title (get it, get it😜).

Productivity tip #1: Stop Multitasking< img src=”; class=”size-medium wp-image-2033″ height=”300″ alt=”#quotescreator #timemanagement #singletasking #groundedafrican #african #time” width=”300″><<
d you know that, thanks to technology, we are now said to have the concentration span of a goldfish.  How scary is that!

Multitasking was the buzz word of the 90's and noughties.  Thankfully that tuned has changed.   I will be the first to admit it…I suck at multitasking so this one piece of advice works for me.  There is definitely a place for multitasking especially if doing two tasks at once will not put your safety at risk like talking on the phone while painting your nails.  Hell, even I can do that :-).   The problem comes in when you have important work to get done.  That's when multitasking can actually slow you down. It can also impact the quality of the work that you do.  Think back…how many times have you been on the verge of making a breakthrough on a piece of work when someone disturbs you with an urgent request and you lose your train of thought.  How much longer does it take you to get back that train of thought, if ever, and complete the work you were doing?

Another problem with multitasking is that you are more likely to make mistakes.  Think about it, if you are multitasking or constantly switching tasks, you are less likely to be giving each task your full focus.  Your attention to detail starts to slip and mistakes can start to creep in.  Ask me, I know…once while doing my banking and listening to my son's chatter I accidentally added an extra zero to a payment and gave them every last blue penny I had and some of the banks money too(my overdraft)!  I noticed too late and had to wait a month to get my money back.  The impact of that one slip was enormous.  Needless to say I now do all my banking in absolute silence.  Anyway the point being, if you want to do something properly, pay full attention to what you are doing.  You will also complete it faster.

There are a few great books and articles on the topic.  Each has helpful methods for you to implement the change to single tasking if you would like to read about it more:

Hope you  found this post useful.  I would love to hear any tips you have on how to focus on single tasking.

Until next time…


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