Tag: #change

The search for enlightenment

Hey there,

It’s been a while since I last wrote.   Apologies. I have been doing more reading than writing of late.  I think my curiosity just needed some feeding 🙂  It was feeling a bit starved and out of sorts.  Anyway, the other day I came across the following line in “A year of miracles” by Marianne Williamson…

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I was fascinated.  So much so that this statement has been rolling around in my head for days now.    I have also been engaged in an argument with a friend about what education really is.  It’s like the universe really wants me to give this some thought.  Who am I to say no.  So here goes…

According to the Oxford dictionary, “enlighten” means to “Give (someone) greater knowledge and understanding about a subject or situation”  and to “educate” means to  “Give intellectual, moral, and social instruction to (someone), typically at a school or university.”   Enlightenment is clearly a deeper state of learning than education.  Okay…

I guess for many, education is costly and feels unattainable.  It largely teaches you skills and to think critically.  Einstein said that “Education is not the learning of facts, but training the mind to think.”  Society places a high value on those qualifications that you attain through education so they are very aspirational for many.  The reality is though that you can walk out of university with tons of knowledge but very little wisdom.  I should know.  That definitely describes me on the day I walked out of tech with my food tech diploma in hand.  Once I got to start using some of my skills (I say some because I have never worked a day in my life as a Food Technologist) , and after many conversations with a few older and wiser people, I came to understand that there was more to life and I didn’t really have a clue.  I also realised that the successful and wise people knew things that I could only learn from talking to them or, reading books that they have written or,  watching interviews with them on YouTube or TV.  They don’t know it all but they definitely know more than me and they never stop learning.  Thankfully, they are also more than happy to share their knowledge and pearls of wisdom.

So wisdom clearly has that extra layer.  Wisdom is having the knowledge and knowing where, when and how to use your knowledge effectively to create a win-win situation for all involved.   You don’t need a university education to have wisdom.  In fact, you don’t need a university education to be successful. I’m not saying don’t get one, but there are many examples of true entrepreneurs who never bothered and are worth billions today.  The late Steve Jobs and Richard Branson come to mind.  It’s still not enlightenment though.  Enlightenment is on another level.

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Yesterday I happened upon a video of Oprah Winfrey being interviewed by Stanford students.  You can watch it here.  Light bulbs started flashing in my head…I felt like I had a better grasp of  what enlightenment is.  The video is long (aprox. an hour) but worth the watch.  Oprah, the late Maya Angelou and the Deepack Chopra are examples of people, who I believe, seek enlightenment.  They all have several traits in common:

  • They are authentic.
  • They practice gratitude.
  • They have used their life experiences to gain wisdom.  (They have definitely not walked through life with their blinkers on)
  • They believe in a Higher Power.  They listen to – and surrender to It.  They are fearless because of their faith.
  • They have learnt to let go of that which is not working for them and have learned to embrace what does,  even if it flies in the face of convention.
  • They are not attached to their filters of the world.
  • They often self-reflect in order to keep growing and learning.
  • Most importantly (to me at least), they have found their purpose and are constantly finding new ways to help others achieve the same.

I could go on and on but I am sure you get the point.  I suspect that ultimately, we are all working towards achieving a level of enlightenment in our own way.   The path does appear to be relatively linear i.e knowledge to wisdom to enlightenment, well at least for adults.  Children appear to be pretty enlightened already and then we cloak them with knowledge and filters that dims their little lights for a few years. 😦

All best of on your search for enlightenment.  I will leave you with one last quote that really resonated with me while researching this topic.

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If you are reading this is, it probably means you have made it to the end. 🙂  If you enjoyed it, please like and share. Oh and don’t forget to follow me if you would like to see more in the future. 

Thanks!

 

 

 

Older but by no means colder!

Hi There,

Welcome back!

I was reading an interview with Dame Helen Mirren in the July 2017 issue of Fairlady magazine yesterday.  I love her to bits.  No matter how old she gets she never loses her spunk! Anyway… in it she was saying how things get better as you get older.  She says she is more confident and less likely to give a hoot of what people think.   It got me reflecting on my own life experience and I have to say that I agree.

I am almost halfway through my forties and in a lot of ways, my life is way better now than it was in my twenties.  I might be back to being single (yes, cute tattoo artist didn’t work out so we live, we learn and we move on…swiftly) but I have come to realise that life is filled with possibilities and opportunities  that I just hadn’t considered before.   I have mentioned before that I have been a late starter in everything so no surprises here..lol.  I feel more settled in my own skin and as a result, my confidence is growing. I feel more optimistic about my future than I ever have.  Weird when I think about it because in the current economic climate, my job is not secure.  I put this down to listening to the words of wisdom of those who have gone before me.

There is so much wisdom out there.  There is always a lesson to be learnt from other people’s life experiences.  I find people’s journeys through life fascinating as I believe that your past experiences and your reactions to them shape who and what you are today.  I recently watched “Becoming Warren Buffet”.  I found the man most fascinating. The thing that really blew me away was how decisive he is.  He also struck me as introspective.  As a young person in particular, he was very aware of his shortcomings and the impact that  they would have on him acheiving his goals so he would actively go about correcting his self-perceived flaws.   Reflection is a great tool that has clearly helped him grow in business and as a person.   Confucius says, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest”

A key difficulty that I have faced since turning 40 is the change that I see in the mirror.  I have learned that tying your identity to your physical image makes ageing harder.  I was always thin and, I didn’t realise it then but my perception of the level of my attractiveness was very intertwined with my weight.  The reason for this is a subject for another day. Anyway…as I have gained weight over the years I have felt less and less attractive.  Now I look in the mirror and my skin is not as smooth as it was and the tone is not as even and boy it has been hard to accept.  The icing on the cake was when i gave up smoking and gained 20kg in 5 months. What a shock to my system physically and to my psych!  (A word to the wise, when giving up smoking, replace your smoking habit with healthy habits to avoid such excessive weight gain.)  I am now able to accept that I am still attractive despite my weight (I pause to thank Anthony for helping see this), I feel a lot more confident.  I even feel sexy 😉  The weight definitely still has to go though.  Moving around is just easier as a thin person 🙂

Feeling more confident, more settled, more curious and having a better understanding of people has, I believe, led me to be a better mother.  I have been able to put more thought into the decisions I make with regards to my son and less afraid to go against the grain.  I make lots of mistakes no doubt but I  pray that he is on the right track to being able to make a meaningful contribution to this world one day.  I suspect he would have been a complete mess if I had had him in my twenties so God decided to bless me with him a little later.

Lastly, it is only in the last 2 years that I have felt ready to tackle my fear of commitment.  I bought a home for Alex and I and entered into a relationship that I believed had the potential to be long-term.  Sadly that didn’t pan out but it taught me that I am capable of adjusting my lifestyle and making compromises in order to give a relationship a fair chance.  I am a control freak and have always jealously guarded my independance so the fact that I could give up as much control as I did  to make the relationship work completely blows my mind.  Gees I was even cooking and baking!  I never thought I would see the day…lol!  Oh well, it was a great experience and it all just means that there is still someone out there for me 🙂

I feel like my life has really begun at 40.  I like to believe that I am a little wiser now with a lot to look forward to and lots of goals to achieve.  If you are on the cusp of 40 and a bit apprehensive about it, don’t be.  It’s actually a wonderful place to be 🙂

Until next time.

Bye