And when you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

One more day to my birthday! Whoop whoop! I made it through another year and I am so grateful this past year. Not only did I make it but I grew. No, I did not grow wider physically for once (Yipee!). I grew as a person. I didn’t really have much of a choice but hey such is life. The important part is that it is all just part of the journey and I am enjoying the ride. Even the scary parts. I usually treat my birthday as a second new year and start “implementing” any changes I want to make then. This year I actually started on New Years day.

Unicorn birthday cake
Photo by malcolm garret on Pexels.com

After much assessment of where I am and where I want to be, I came to realise that I don’t really live a very intentional life. I have a tendency to say I want to do certain things and even have a “why” as motivation yet, I never intentionally act on those desires. I just fall into things and never actually question if the action I find myself taking is really getting me any closer to my end goal. I tell myself it is but, hello, I haven’t exactly come anywhere close to achieving them so clearly my actions are not. I react and I definitely don’t act intentionally.

Clearly this needs to change. So I made the decision to start acting intentionally and it blows my mind how quickly the universe comes to the party. On New Years day I suddenly found myself with alone time on my hands so I started working in a new journal that I had purchased. I wrote down my goals, my words for the year (“intentional” being one of them) and I started looking for images for my vision board. I have been attempting to put one together for the past two years. I created one for my phone about a month a go but I still felt like I needed a proper board up in my room so finally it is done.

The next day I go to the doctor as my prescription needs a refill and I walk away with the distinct feeling that I must lose the weight that the doctor has been nagging me about now. I had the sense that it has to be now or I will live to regret it. As per my last blog post, I was not happy about the idea of losing weight as it is a lifestyle change that I didn’t want to make but I knew it had to be done. So what did God do, He sends me an angel in the form of Kerry, to direct me to a book and offer to go on the journey with me. I buy the book the same day and read it. While I am reading it, everything just clicks into place and I know, I just know, that this time I will succeed. Thank you God and Thank you Kerry!

You probably think I am talking a load of bull but I have experienced that “click” every time I have made a major decision in my life, especially when it is one that I have been avoiding accepting because I am scared of the new reality it will bring. In my early 20’s, I had a 5 year on again/off again relationship with a guy that I adored. We were in 2 different places in our lives and, quite frankly, we were just very immature at the time. We knew we couldn’t give each other what the other wanted but we were not prepared to let go. Then one day, he did something that made me realise that it was time to let go. It was very minor but that “click” kicked in and that was that I walked away. I did start questioning my decision after a few months but God quickly gave me a reality check and made sure that thought didn’t enter my head again. I cried for days but once I stopped I was good to go again and never looked back. When I gave up smoking, I dragged my feet about it until one day, while watching the budget speech, I just decided this was it. I was not wasting another blue dime on cigarettes, I picked up the book on giving up smoking from my book shelf (I had purchased it about a month earlier) and while I was reading it, click, click and click happened, and that was that. I haven’t picked up a cigarette in 6 years and 11 months. When I am done, I am done.

There are a few other examples I can think of but I’m sure you get the point. I heard and felt that click while reading that book so I am done with this weight and this diabetes that tried to take up residence in my body. Not today bugger. Not today! So it’s day 2 of this new journey and new reality. There are three obstacles that I need to overcome to make this work.

  1. Drinking black coffee. It’s never quite being my thing
  2. Giving up snacking. I do it when I am bored or need to think.
  3. Cut down on my carbs

Black coffee has been overcome! I had my first cup yesterday and actually enjoyed it. This evening I reached for the milk in the fridge and felt nauseous at the thought of adding it to my coffee. Mental switch officially done and dusted. Giving up snacking will be done. If i think back to my thin days, I didn’t snack as a general rule. I at when I was hungry and that was that. I ate to live and i did not live to eat and I was happy so it will not kill me not to snack. I will still be happy. My wallet will be happy with a lower grocery bill and my body will be happy because it won’t constantly have to work on digesting food.

Photo by Foodie Factor on Pexels.com

I am still working on the mental trick to cut down on carbs but I am not too stressed about it. One way or the other, the comfort carbs days have come to an end. Cheerio comfort carbs. Thank you for the comfort but it’s time to move on now. Do note that if you see me in the next few days and I appear a bit crabby, please bear with me, I am just adjusting to the lack of comfort carbs.

The book, for those who are interested, is about Intermittent fasting. I had researched the topic to death last year when my doctor first recommended it but there were no clicks. While reading the book, everything that I researched about banting and intermittent fasting came together in a nice little package that went …you guessed it…click. The right book at the right time. The book is called Delay, Don’t Deny by Gin Stephens if you would like to read it.

The effect is slow apparently so don’t expect a new me strolling down the street in the next few weeks but definitely in the next few months.

Welcome 47 and my New Reality! I am ready for you.

Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed this post. Don’t forget to like and share if did. I would love to hear your tips and tricks with Intermittent fasting . Bye for now.

OMG…The Universe is responding!!

This evening I was listening to the back end of Oprah’s Soul Sunday interview with Shauna Niequist. (I know, I had no idea who she was until this evening. Had to google her too) The interview was about her journey as shared in her book “Present over Perfect”. And yes of course it is now officially on my reading list. Anyway, there were lots of similarities to my journey so I listened to the end. While waiting for recording to load so that I could listen to the beginning, I cam across Oprah’s interview with Adyashanti. He spoke about living an authentic life and suddenly it dawned on me that I have been in a great space emotionally of late and then I realised why…

The universe is responding!!

Certain things have changed in my life over the last month or so. In the past, I have always enjoyed buying clothes. When I put on weight though , I felt really crappy about myself and the way I look. Whenever I went shopping I really struggled to find clothes that I liked and it just left me feeling more depressed about my weight and myself. Let me just say as well that those mirrors in the change rooms of clothing shops…who’s idea was that??? I swear they add at least another 10kg’s and 10cm to you. Are they trying to sell you clothes or are they secretly in cahoots with weight loss groups or maybe even psychologists because they can drive you to depression. Phew, I’ve been dying to let that all out for the longest time!😜. Sorry about the rant.

Moving on swiftly…anyway, about 3 months ago I had made a decision to make more of an effort with my appearance (I am single again after all). I started following a few older fashion bloggers on IG and could feel the stirrings of excitement about this decision sneaking in to my consciousness. I still didn’t see anything I really liked in stores but I was still hopeful. I also made a conscious effort to accept myself as I am and appreciate myself now rather wait until I lost the weight. Since December or so, the positive attitude has started to pay off! I actually have to stay away from malls now because every clothing shop I walk into has stuff that I love and screams “BUY ME!”. I feel like my old self again. I love clothes shopping again!!!!

But wait, there’s more!

Virtually every purchase has been discounted!!!! What a pleasure! It is so amazing how the Universe finds ways to give you money. In this case, I have been receiving discounts on stuff that is not even on the sale rack. Talk about living an abundant life! I feel so spoilt. Thank you! I have been saying these money affirmations to get myself back in line with the energy of money. I have also realised that I have been living with a “lack” mindset and of course, I found “lack” everywhere I looked. I made a conscious decision to live with an abundant mindset in all aspects of my life and I am starting to harvest the fruits of the seeds that I have sown financially and in other areas of my life as well. I am so excited!

“When you teach a child that a bird is named bird, the child will never see the bird again”Krishnamurti

Red parrot with Quote by Krishnamurti
Quote by Krishnamurti. Image by Canva

This quote really made me stop and think. It is a reminder that we don’t know what we think we know. That we need to remain curious and maintain a sense of wonder about the everyday things around us. The same would hold true for people as well. We should not assume that we know those we come into contact with. We should be more curious and open to learning about them.

If you would like to listen to the interview, you can find a link to it here. A direct link is also available on my Facebook page.

Bedtime calls. I go to sleep with a smile in my heart feeling grateful for the blessings that have been bestowed on me already and for those yet to come. 🙏

Have a wonderful week ahead! Thank you for reading. Please like and share if you enjoyed reading my post. Also let me know how you have see the law of attraction manifest in your life. I find it so fascinating 😁

Cheers Bye 45! Welcome 46😊

Another birthday is on the horizon. Life has been interesting. Lessons have been learned. A new, more fulfilled, me is emerging…

Today I say farewell to 45. 46 here I come!!! 😜😁 I am so grateful for this past year. It has been extremely difficult but, thanks to the trials I have learnt a lot about myself along the way.

Lesson 1: I love been part of a partnership

I have spent decades avoiding a long term relationship for so many reasons. The two main reasons though were that I was afraid of losing my independence and control over my life, and I was afraid of losing myself. Even though the relationship didn’t last, I am so glad that I opened myself up to it and gave it a shot. The relationship might have ended but, upon reflection, in addition to the some of the lessons I learned which you can read about here, I discovered so much about myself. Guess what fam…At no point did I lose myself. What did do was discover new sides of myself that I am thoroughly enjoying. My ex constantly encouraged me to write. He is not a reader but actually enjoyed reading whatever I wrote which gave me confidence. Thank you Tattoo guy. I didn’t lose my independence either. I willing gave up my independence in a lot of areas and it was a joy and a pleasure to have someone to share those areas of responsibility with. When we tackled anything together, we made an amazing team. If felt good to be a part of that. Being a part of a partnership was a fulfilling experience and I cannot wait for the next right opportunity to present itself. And yes, to those of you who know me well…I really did write that…lol. Bring on the next relationship Universe…I am ready and open to it! 😃✨

Lesson 2: I am stronger than I give myself credit for

With the breakup of my relationship and the passing of my mum happening within two months of each other, there were times when I thought I was going to crumble into a heap and just fade away. I didn’t, I got up every morning, I put one foot in front of the other and dealt with each challenge as it arose. I did have the support of amazing friends at work and at home and of my cousin and of course my baby sister and dad. They are all amazing. Thank you. At the end of the day though I had to get up on my own and help not only myself through these huge changes in my life but my son as well as he was directly affected by both breakups as well. We have both pulled through and I believe that we are stronger than ever because of it.

Lesson 3: Not only am I enough but I am worthy of my hearts desires

I have previously mentioned my return to studying the Law of Attraction in an attempt to change my perspective on life, redefine what I want from life and hit the start button. I knew there were aspects of it that I didn’t understand properly and I was determined to get a better grasp of it. I have now read a few more books on it and even watched a movie and the one thing that I have come to realise is that I have not understood my worth. Not at all. I have played small because I didn’t think I was worthy of bigger. I definitely know better now! Gosh darn it! The Universe is limitless! Who am I to limit myself?? I have always loved the piece by Marianne Williamson but I never truly understood it until now…

The thing is that dreaming big takes a belief in yourself that is actually not easy to just switch on. I feel like I am stepping into a whole new world and it’s pretty scary (so scary that my heart is beating so fast as I write this that the breathing app on my watch has been activated…lol) but the rewards that await me are bigger than I can conceive so I am going to take this one step at a time and lets see where the path leads. As Trevor Noah said in his book “Born a crime”: “But the highest rung of whats possible is far beyond the world you can see.” Boy has he shown that to be true!

Lesson 4: I love to bake and to cook

Are you back on your chair yet? 😂 Shocker of a discovery isn’t it.😜 My mum was a baker of note! I never bothered to learn from her because i believed that baking was not my thing or cooking for that matter. She did however teach my son to bake. She taught all her grandchildren to. It was her “thing” that she did with them and they loved it.

As it turns out, Tattoo guy had a sweet tooth so I decided that I would try my hand at baking to satisfy his cravings. The things we do for love…sigh. Anyway, I started collecting my mum’s recipes from her and was surprised to find that I actually enjoyed the process and I was actually quite good at it. My mum was initially very surprised when I started asking for her recipes and was quite thrilled that I actually used them and sent pics of my successes.

Baking has now become my thing with my son. It is an opportunity for us to bond and to honour my mum’s memory. Each taste of our cakes and tarts take me back to Sunday nights at home as a kid and brings to life a taste of my mother’s love for us. This was how she shared her love for everyone. Alex and I are so blessed to be able to carry on the tradition.

As for cooking, Tattoo guy actually liked my cooking. I know I know…you can get back on your chair again. 😂 Having someone actually enjoy eating my food made me want to do more of it and even experiment a little here and there. My favourite dish to make is lasagne. I have even bought a dining room table so that I can cook for and entertain my friends. Yes friends, that’s right, clear you diaries, dinner parties are at my house this year. Come hungry!😉😊

So yes, 45 was a hard year and a crazy year but an interesting and revealing year. I am grateful to have been blessed with the time and the experiences. 46…bring on the new beginnings, the adventures and the learning curves. I am enjoying this new me😊

Thank you as always for taking the time to read my blog. Don’t forget to like/comment/share if you enjoyed it and feel others might as well.

Older but by no means colder!

Hi There,

Welcome back!

I was reading an interview with Dame Helen Mirren in the July 2017 issue of Fairlady magazine yesterday.  I love her to bits.  No matter how old she gets she never loses her spunk! Anyway… in it she was saying how things get better as you get older.  She says she is more confident and less likely to give a hoot of what people think.   It got me reflecting on my own life experience and I have to say that I agree.

I am almost halfway through my forties and in a lot of ways, my life is way better now than it was in my twenties.  I might be back to being single (yes, cute tattoo artist didn’t work out so we live, we learn and we move on…swiftly) but I have come to realise that life is filled with possibilities and opportunities  that I just hadn’t considered before.   I have mentioned before that I have been a late starter in everything so no surprises here..lol.  I feel more settled in my own skin and as a result, my confidence is growing. I feel more optimistic about my future than I ever have.  Weird when I think about it because in the current economic climate, my job is not secure.  I put this down to listening to the words of wisdom of those who have gone before me.

There is so much wisdom out there.  There is always a lesson to be learnt from other people’s life experiences.  I find people’s journeys through life fascinating as I believe that your past experiences and your reactions to them shape who and what you are today.  I recently watched “Becoming Warren Buffet”.  I found the man most fascinating. The thing that really blew me away was how decisive he is.  He also struck me as introspective.  As a young person in particular, he was very aware of his shortcomings and the impact that  they would have on him acheiving his goals so he would actively go about correcting his self-perceived flaws.   Reflection is a great tool that has clearly helped him grow in business and as a person.   Confucius says, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest”

A key difficulty that I have faced since turning 40 is the change that I see in the mirror.  I have learned that tying your identity to your physical image makes ageing harder.  I was always thin and, I didn’t realise it then but my perception of the level of my attractiveness was very intertwined with my weight.  The reason for this is a subject for another day. Anyway…as I have gained weight over the years I have felt less and less attractive.  Now I look in the mirror and my skin is not as smooth as it was and the tone is not as even and boy it has been hard to accept.  The icing on the cake was when i gave up smoking and gained 20kg in 5 months. What a shock to my system physically and to my psych!  (A word to the wise, when giving up smoking, replace your smoking habit with healthy habits to avoid such excessive weight gain.)  I am now able to accept that I am still attractive despite my weight (I pause to thank Anthony for helping see this), I feel a lot more confident.  I even feel sexy 😉  The weight definitely still has to go though.  Moving around is just easier as a thin person 🙂

Feeling more confident, more settled, more curious and having a better understanding of people has, I believe, led me to be a better mother.  I have been able to put more thought into the decisions I make with regards to my son and less afraid to go against the grain.  I make lots of mistakes no doubt but I  pray that he is on the right track to being able to make a meaningful contribution to this world one day.  I suspect he would have been a complete mess if I had had him in my twenties so God decided to bless me with him a little later.

Lastly, it is only in the last 2 years that I have felt ready to tackle my fear of commitment.  I bought a home for Alex and I and entered into a relationship that I believed had the potential to be long-term.  Sadly that didn’t pan out but it taught me that I am capable of adjusting my lifestyle and making compromises in order to give a relationship a fair chance.  I am a control freak and have always jealously guarded my independance so the fact that I could give up as much control as I did  to make the relationship work completely blows my mind.  Gees I was even cooking and baking!  I never thought I would see the day…lol!  Oh well, it was a great experience and it all just means that there is still someone out there for me 🙂

I feel like my life has really begun at 40.  I like to believe that I am a little wiser now with a lot to look forward to and lots of goals to achieve.  If you are on the cusp of 40 and a bit apprehensive about it, don’t be.  It’s actually a wonderful place to be 🙂

Until next time.

Bye

%d bloggers like this: