Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.– Sonia Ricotti

Bloganuary Day 15. (Eek we are half way through Jan already!!!)

Today’s Prompt: What fear have you conquered?

Hmmm…I guess there a quite a few major fears (well to me anyway) that I have conquered over the years.

When I was done studying, I needed practical experience in order to get my diploma, the experience was hard to come by. I was beside myself and had no idea what to do about it. My dad was very clear that he would not be supporting me now that I had completed my studies so I had to figure something out. I was beside myself with fear but I had to make it happen to I started applying for waitressing jobs while looking for an in-service training position. As it turns out, my waitressing position led to me meeting the person who would help find a position. That position ultimately led to where I am today.

My most recent fear though has being the fear of ageing. I turned 50 last Saturday. It’s a pretty big number and it can be pretty scary. I have spent the last 2-3 years working on accepting it. The hardest part has been looking in the mirror and accepting that I no longer look like my 25 year old self. There are lines forming around my eyes now and my jowls are looking…well…jowly…lol. I can see me face is starting to sag and it has been hard to accept. I love my grey hair though. It’s my favourite part about ageing. I have written about this in an earlier post but a few months ago, I made the decision that it is what it is and that what is in my control is accept the fact that I am ageing and to celebrate it by dressing up and just flaunting my 50 year old self. Why not right! I have also decided to take better care of myself so that I get to enjoy a better quality of life for as long as I am on this earth.

The result is that I actually love myself more than I ever have. I feel good and even though the weight has been stubborn, I think I look great! My friend was saying to me the other day that I look brighter and more radiant. I’ll take that. I follow like minded woman on social media who are comfortable in ther own skins at my age. I just unfollowed a lady who was sharing her minor cosmetic surgery yesterday. I don’t have an issue with it. It makes me sad to see the lengths people will go to to avoid looking older. It’s not possible to stop it but it is possible to look good naturally through the process. We are so blessed to live in an age where a lot of our female role models are choosing to age gracefully like Sarah Jessica Parker and Dame Helen Mirren. In South Africa we have Connie Ferguson and Thembi Seete. I have had the pleasure of being in Thembi Seete’s company for a very short period of time and I was so blown away by her energy and attitude. I want to be like her when I grow up …lol.

At the end of the day, by holding on to my younger self, I have not been able to appreciate and enjoy who I am today. Truth be told, I am a very different person today and I much prefer her to scaredy mouse I was back then. I must admit though that this new found appreciation for myself takes a conscious effort every single day but I am enjoying walking past a mirror and consciously stopping and smiling at myself rather hurrying past in case I see a flaw. It’s awesome.

Taken a week shy of my 50th birthday. Photo credit: Venetia Mitchell. Dress: Jaggery Collection

So Cheers to 50 year old me! Girrrl…You are amazing!🍾🥂

Ageing Gracefully

At least that is what I tell myself😜. Today’s prompt requires that I write about my favourite part of myself. Well. Since I have done quite a bit of soul searching over the course of this month, I think I will stick to the physical today. In which case, my favourite part of myself right now is my grey hair!

Embracing my greys

I made a choice to embrace my greys about 2 months ago and I am so glad I did. It felt like a weight was taken off my shoulders. God decided that I would start sprouting greys in my twenties. I was having none of that. If He had blessed me with a ‘distinguished’ grey patch in the front like my mum had I might have considered it but noooo…He decided that mine would sprout up at random. So I made box colour my friend instead. (I don’t have the patience to sit in a salon every month and have my hair done). Such has been my life for the past 20 years.

In November my cousin became a gran for the 1st time. She is 4 months older than me. While my son is only 13, and will in all likelihood not make a gran for at least another 10 years (fingers crossed), it was a milestone that made me take a look in the mirror and ask myself who I was kidding. I am getting older (never old though, just older. There is a difference. 🤣) and I need to embrace it. With people dying at younger and younger ages thanks to covid, I decided it was a blessing to be the age I am and it’s time to embrace it. For me, the symbol of my ageing is my grey hair so I embraced it.

I don’t know about you but I find that once I make a decision to accept something, especially something that I have been dreading, I find that I actually like whatever it is. Does that happen to you too? It happened when I became a non-smoker. It happened when I began intermittent fasting and now when I chose to accept my hair. I no longer look at myself in the mirror in horror. Now I give myself a big broad grin every morning and blow myself a kiss because, gosh darn it, I deserve it. 🌷

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