Be careful who you push away…some of us don’t come back…(maybe some of us are not meant to anyway?)

I was scrolling through Instagram at some ungodly hour this morning (thanks storm for waking me up!) when I saw this quote. My initial reaction was “sadly true” but then I was like “wait a minute…is it really?”. I felt a sense of apprehension when I first read it. That couldn’t be good. I decided that if I really believed that, I would be living a life of fear and not of faith. I pondered on it a little further and realised that the people who were meant to be in your life will always come back. Let me share a few stories of why I believe this to be true.

About 10 years ago, a very good friend and I had a falling out. I was so angry with her and I walked away from a treasured friendship. My heart was broken but I believed that I was setting boundaries for myself and I was. For 5 years I did not see or speak to her and, although I missed her terribly, I was ok and so was she. In those 5 years, our lives changed and we evolved as people. One Saturday evening I was waiting for my pizza to be ready when I saw someone that we both knew. At the time, I remember wanting to take a pic of him and share it with her because only she would understand the memories and thoughts flashing through my mind at the time. I missed her more than ever in that moment. Little did I know that the Universe was “softening me up” for her return into my life. The following Monday, I received this heartfelt apology from her in my inbox with no expectations from me except to read it. I cried so much and immediately responded to say all is forgiven. We have been best friends again ever since. Our friendship is the same and yet different but it is more rewarding because we had grown as people while we were apart. I believe it all happened for a reason and, in hindsight, the time apart was preparing us to be the people we needed to be support each other in the future. #noregrets

Another example from about 5 years ago which I have written about previously is when a family member and I had a falling out of sorts. I had spent my entire life trying to please this person but nothing I did was ever good enough. One day, they said something that just took it too far and I snapped. I loved this person dearly but there was only so much I could take. I drew a line in the sand and I walked away. Walking away was a liberating experience for me and, once again, my life changed and I evolved as a person. A few months later, this person called offering to help me in a way that they never had before. There was no formal apology but I knew that the offer in itself was one so I took them up on the offer to let them know that it was ok and that all was forgiven. As with the 1st example, our relationship was different but more rewarding thereafter.

I, of course, have lots of examples where people never did come back and guess what…my life has gone on anyway. I am ok and probably better off because of the experiences and lessons they taught me and because they were once apart of my life. I thank them for this wherever they are.

The point is that, in my experience, we push people away for a reason. Usually it is because they have disrespected the boundaries we have set for ourselves. The reality is that if we don’t honour those boundaries for ourselves then we set the example for the people in our lives and cause ourselves unnecessary misery. They will just trample all over them.

Honouring my boundaries has been liberating and led to my growth as a person. My life experiences have become richer because of this growth. I have become more confident in myself and see the world in a different light.

So to get back to the original quote that got me thinking in the first place (at this ungodly hour of the morning😜)… “be careful who you push away…sometimes they don’t come back”… I say “Goodbye to those who don’t come back and thank you for the lessons. Your time in my life is valued. All the best on the rest of your journey”. To those who do come back…”I welcome you with open arms. Thank you for giving me the space to grow and evolve. I look forward to sharing this new leg of our journey together with you.”

Have you also found in that in hindsight some people just were just meant to be and that actually you have no regrets about letting them go at some point? I would love to hear about your experiences.

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Author: groundedafrican

Proudly South African mum to a bright and gorgeous young human. Employee. Life Coach in the making. Blogger. Fascinated with and passionate about people and helping them grow. View all posts by groundedafrican