Be careful who you push away…some of us don’t come back…(maybe some of us are not meant to anyway?)

I was scrolling through Instagram at some ungodly hour this morning (thanks storm for waking me up!) when I saw this quote. My initial reaction was “sadly true” but then I was like “wait a minute…is it really?”. I felt a sense of apprehension when I first read it. That couldn’t be good. I decided that if I really believed that, I would be living a life of fear and not of faith. I pondered on it a little further and realised that the people who were meant to be in your life will always come back. Let me share a few stories of why I believe this to be true.

#lettinggo #noregrets #refocus #recreate #groundedafrican #wordpress

About 10 years ago, a very good friend and I had a falling out. I was so angry with her and I walked away from a treasured friendship. My heart was broken but I believed that I was setting boundaries for myself and I was. For 5 years I did not see or speak to her and, although I missed her terribly, I was ok and so was she. In those 5 years, our lives changed and we evolved as people. One Saturday evening I was waiting for my pizza to be ready when I saw someone that we both knew. At the time, I remember wanting to take a pic of him and share it with her because only she would understand the memories and thoughts flashing through my mind at the time. I missed her more than ever in that moment. Little did I know that the Universe was “softening me up” for her return into my life. The following Monday, I received this heartfelt apology from her in my inbox with no expectations from me except to read it. I cried so much and immediately responded to say all is forgiven. We have been best friends again ever since. Our friendship is the same and yet different but it is more rewarding because we had grown as people while we were apart. I believe it all happened for a reason and, in hindsight, the time apart was preparing us to be the people we needed to be support each other in the future. #noregrets

Another example from about 5 years ago which I have written about previously is when a family member and I had a falling out of sorts. I had spent my entire life trying to please this person but nothing I did was ever good enough. One day, they said something that just took it too far and I snapped. I loved this person dearly but there was only so much I could take. I drew a line in the sand and I walked away. Walking away was a liberating experience for me and, once again, my life changed and I evolved as a person. A few months later, this person called offering to help me in a way that they never had before. There was no formal apology but I knew that the offer in itself was one so I took them up on the offer to let them know that it was ok and that all was forgiven. As with the 1st example, our relationship was different but more rewarding thereafter.

I, of course, have lots of examples where people never did come back and guess what…my life has gone on anyway. I am ok and probably better off because of the experiences and lessons they taught me and because they were once apart of my life. I thank them for this wherever they are.

The point is that, in my experience, we push people away for a reason. Usually it is because they have disrespected the boundaries we have set for ourselves. The reality is that if we don’t honour those boundaries for ourselves then we set the example for the people in our lives and cause ourselves unnecessary misery. They will just trample all over them.

#boundaries #noregrets #life #lifelessons #groundedafrican #wordpress

Honouring my boundaries has been liberating and led to my growth as a person. My life experiences have become richer because of this growth. I have become more confident in myself and see the world in a different light.

So to get back to the original quote that got me thinking in the first place (at this ungodly hour of the morning😜)… “be careful who you push away…sometimes they don’t come back”… I say “Goodbye to those who don’t come back and thank you for the lessons. Your time in my life is valued. All the best on the rest of your journey”. To those who do come back…”I welcome you with open arms. Thank you for giving me the space to grow and evolve. I look forward to sharing this new leg of our journey together with you.”

Have you also found in that in hindsight some people just were just meant to be and that actually you have no regrets about letting them go at some point? I would love to hear about your experiences.

If you enjoyed reading this post please like and share it. Thank you for reading.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” — Dr. Wayne Dyer (Tick Tock Thursday #2)

I have really been battling with implementing my ideas about how I could create time. For instance, getting up early was easier to do then because my brain was working overtime anyway and I just couldn’t sleep. Once my brain got over itself I couldn’t get myself out of bed anymore to write. I am an owl by nature and dragging my self out of bed at that early just is not in my nature😜. In fact, it was draining me.

So what do I have to do to create time in my day for the things I want to do? Well…I read the quote by Dr Wayne Dyer and it really got me thinking. Do I need to change the way I look at my activities in order to change what I do and become more productive?

#canva #time #timemanagement #african #drdwaynedyer #productivity
Image: Canva

I have being giving this a try. When I open Facebook, for example, by the time I get to the third post or so, I say to myself: “what am I doing here? My time is finite. Is this bringing me any closer to where I want to be?” The answer is usually no when it comes to social media so I exit the app and move on to something I need to or want to do.

Essentially I am trying to change the way I look at time. When I see it as finite then I am more motivated to use it wisely. Too often I have found myself saying: “Ag, tomorrow is another day” but the truth is that tomorrow is not promised to me. Today is here. Today is now. I used to ask myself if I would regret a choice “when I am lying on my death-bed when I am 90” when I needed to make a decision. I guess instead of 90, I should be changing that to “at the end of today” when looking at the frivolous things I catch myself doing sometimes or when my son needs my attention while I am doing something. The later is a tough one of course because he must learn to respect other people’s time and needs so sometimes I have to just say “can we do that tomorrow” because I am on a deadline. More often though, I just need to say, ” Give mummy x more minutes” so that both our needs are met in the here and now.

I must admit I find this process more doable because I don’t necessarily have to plan my day too much. I just have to be more aware of how I am spending my time and make “in the moment” choices. I am also consciously working towards my goals every day.

If you are still looking for a productivity method, give this try. Let me know how it goes.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to like, follow and share if you enjoyed this post and want to see more.

Tick Tock Thursday #1

Recently I shared with you how I have learnt to create time in my day to do the things I want to do. If you missed it, you read it here . I have also been participating in Oprah and Deepak’s 21 day meditation challenge. The theme of challenge has been “Making every moment matter”. You can still access the last 5 days meditations hereif you interested. Firstly let me say that I am blown away that they can talk about time in 21 different ways! It got me thinking though. I have decided to challenge myself and make my Thursday blogs about different ways to use time efficiently, hence the “Tick Tock Thursday” title (get it, get it😜).

Productivity tip #1: Stop Multitasking< img src=”https://groundedafrican.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/img_9585.jpg?w=300&#8243; class=”size-medium wp-image-2033″ height=”300″ alt=”#quotescreator #timemanagement #singletasking #groundedafrican #african #time” width=”300″><<
d you know that, thanks to technology, we are now said to have the concentration span of a goldfish.  How scary is that!

Multitasking was the buzz word of the 90's and noughties.  Thankfully that tuned has changed.   I will be the first to admit it…I suck at multitasking so this one piece of advice works for me.  There is definitely a place for multitasking especially if doing two tasks at once will not put your safety at risk like talking on the phone while painting your nails.  Hell, even I can do that :-).   The problem comes in when you have important work to get done.  That's when multitasking can actually slow you down. It can also impact the quality of the work that you do.  Think back…how many times have you been on the verge of making a breakthrough on a piece of work when someone disturbs you with an urgent request and you lose your train of thought.  How much longer does it take you to get back that train of thought, if ever, and complete the work you were doing?

Another problem with multitasking is that you are more likely to make mistakes.  Think about it, if you are multitasking or constantly switching tasks, you are less likely to be giving each task your full focus.  Your attention to detail starts to slip and mistakes can start to creep in.  Ask me, I know…once while doing my banking and listening to my son's chatter I accidentally added an extra zero to a payment and gave them every last blue penny I had and some of the banks money too(my overdraft)!  I noticed too late and had to wait a month to get my money back.  The impact of that one slip was enormous.  Needless to say I now do all my banking in absolute silence.  Anyway the point being, if you want to do something properly, pay full attention to what you are doing.  You will also complete it faster.

There are a few great books and articles on the topic.  Each has helpful methods for you to implement the change to single tasking if you would like to read about it more:

Hope you  found this post useful.  I would love to hear any tips you have on how to focus on single tasking.

Until next time…

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