Where has the time gone? My son received his report today. He has passed grade 11! I am so proud of him. 2026 is his final year of high school. I still remember his first day of primary school so clearly, and now here we are. God has been good to us. Thank you, God.
Today he also had his first lesson with a driving school. He was so excited. By the middle of next year, he will have his driver’s license. This probably means my car will no longer be my own…lol. I am really proud of the independent and responsible person he has become. I pray that he will always be this independent and responsible. I pray that he will always be as kind and as loving as he is now. Thank you God for blessing me with my son. Thank you for choosing me to raise him. Thank you for trusting me with his life.
My son has taught me to view the world through a child’s eyes again. He inspired me to be more creative with how I approached problems and life in general. Being his mother has taught me what it means to let go and have faith. Raising him has taught me what unconditional love truly means and what it feels like. Because of him, I know what fulfilment feels like and let’s not forget real joy. It Being his mother has really opened up a new world for me.
I think this is the first time in a long time I can say that this has been a long year! How are we only halfway through! It has been a real rollercoaster ride. From the stress of having to apply for my job to the high of our latest product launch! It’s been crazy.
Image: Canva
Choosing to reapply for my position
At the end of January, our new team structure was announced, and most of us had to apply for the available roles. I had no idea what the future held, which made me very anxious. I had to apply for a role and would only be retrenched if I were unsuccessful in my application. I was the only person who applied for the role, so they gave it to me. I am not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I tried to be cool and calm through the process, but I completely underestimated how stressful it would be. As much as I didn’t really mind being retrenched (I have other plans), the idea of not having a nine-to-five job was scary. I also had a team that needed support as they were going through the same thing. The biggest and scariest lesson for me was witnessing the effect stress had on my body during this period:
Stress wreaks havoc on one’s heart – my resting heart rate had risen dramatically. This impacted my heart rate when exercising. My heart rate would rise higher than normal when I performed my usual exercise. It really scared me.
My blood sugar levels were higher than ever before. This was likely due to an increase in cortisol.
My blood pressure was higher than usual as well.
All of these readings dropped as soon as my role was confirmed, so it was definitely linked to the stress during that period. Considering that my words for this year were “Health and Wellness”, it was not easy watching those numbers rise. Hopefully, I never find myself in that situation again.
Reassessing my future
Naturally, this entire experience has caused me to reassess where I am in life, why I am where I am, and where I want to be. I am guessing that because this desire to reassess and to heal is so great, God has stepped in to guide me through the people and, of course, my favourite tool, books. I say heal because I feel traumatised by the experience I have just been through. There have been a few messages that I have received that are guiding me through this process:
Exercise God-confidence instead of self-confidence. I first came across this term in Demi-Leigh Tebow’s book; “A Crown that Lasts”. I felt that there was another level I could reach for. I have worked so hard to build my self-confidence over the past few years, yet it just didn’t feel like enough, and that’s because it isn’t. There is another level of confidence, and it is God-confidence. My faith has not been strong enough. I have relied too heavily on myself and other people. This has been a mistake. And so my journey begins to strengthen my faith in God. I have to be honest, I thought I had, but it is clear that I still place my faith in all the wrong people and processes.
Take action – Strengthening faith is not a passive process. When I look around at all the people who inspire me, especially those whom God is using right now to draw me closer to Him, they all take inspired action. Each has had their journey to achieve all they have thus far. No part of their journey included passively waiting for God to take action on their behalf. It has been through, and because of, their inspired actions that God was able to display his glory.
My vision is not big enough – I realise that I am acting on a goal that plays to my ego and has very little benefit to me, my son, and my community in the long run, and doesn’t bring me closer to my vision. One of the lessons is that by putting all my focus on a small goal, I lose sight of my vision, and I really feel like I have been wasting time. No doubt there are lessons I can take from this pursuit, but it is not even a stepping stone in the direction I want to go.
Image: Author’s own
Green shoots
Thankfully, it has not all been doom and trauma. We recently launched our new hand and body range at work, and I represented R&D at the launch events. It was a whirlwind of activity, including a launch event and two TV appearances. The team has put their heart and soul into bringing these products to the market, so it was wonderful to be a part of the activities that created awareness around them.
Traipsing around the countryside to promote our new range also meant I got to visit with old friends that I hadn’t seen since before the COVID-19 pandemic. The biggest highlight was finally getting to meet my friend’s daughters. I had been watching them grow up on Facebook since birth, so it was fantastic to finally meet them.
I am also seeing the end of the teenage drama that we have been living with for the past few years. My son is becoming his old playful self again. It is heart-warming to see and feel the lightness in his energy again. I also see the excitement building as he prepares for the next phase of life. He is exploring career options, and we will be booking his learner’s licence test soon. I am so excited for him.
I am grateful to have made it this far. I am also looking forward to the wonderful surprises that this year still has in store. How did the first half of your 2025 go?
It was so weird. I had such a good night’s sleep last night, yet today I could not stop yawning. It felt as though I hadn’t slept at all. I couldn’t understand it, and then this evening, it struck me…this is probably due to the release of tension from having my son home last night.
It happens each time my son goes away. I think I am okay, but actually, there is this low level of tension that I constantly carry with me. It’s like the air that fills a balloon and keeps its surface rigid. It doesn’t feel like anything, but it’s there. And then my son comes home, and all that air in my balloon is released, and I feel relaxed and at ease again, and all I want to do is sleep.
He has left again, so I guess my balloon will start inflating again soon, but tonight I will sleep like a baby (hopefully).
I am grateful that I did get to spend time with my son today. We had a great lunch at the mall. I was pleasantly surprised that I had a decent-sized discount voucher available to me at the time of paying, so I am very grateful for that too.
Grounded African 