How often have you looked around you, at your friends, at your family, your colleagues and felt like a failure or felt less successful? I have done it so many times. I felt so down because I didn’t have a fancy car and I didn’t own a home let alone a home in the “right” area. I didn’t have a fast tracked career. I was “average”. Shock and horror😱.
Mark Twain once said that comparison is the thief of joy. I think it takes most of us a while to come to this realisation. Some of us never do. We spend our entire lives chasing someone else’s definition of success without even understanding if that definition even brings that person joy and inner peace or are they just enslaved by their material trappings, their “symbols of success”. I found that by comparing myself to others, I was constantly focused on their material gains…the car, the house and even the career. I did not question if they had sold their souls to gain these material goods and live in the lap of luxury.
Not all comparison is bad though. A lesson that I teach my son is that his growth as a person and in everything he does is determined by the benchmarks he sets himself. This he should base on his comparison of his “today”self to his “yesterday” self. In this way he will continously improve and, perhaps without trying to, he will be the champion of his chosen sport or the head of a company one day. I try and apply the principle in my own life although it does take reflection and I am not that good at it. What’s also cool about doing this is that suddenly, your so called failures become your learning curves. Yip, you can’t help but start looking at failure in a positive light. Who knew???? In addition, when you look at it in a positive light you tend to be less hard on yourself because it puts the failure in perspective.
Here’s the thing though. Materially I am not much better off than i was before my “epiphany” on failure. Mentally though I am deinitely stronger. Emotionally I am definitely happier. How did I get to this place though? Well, it is actually pretty simple. After reading “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, I sat down and listed all the things i had achieved. I was definitely not modest about it too. No filters were used. I was so blown away when I was done. I had actually accomplished so much already. Turns out I am a success in my own right. This realisation gave me the desire to want to go out and want to do more. I set myself new goals and have achieved some already. Some I can almost taste while I may need to adjust my sails in order to achieve others.
“Failures are fingerposts on the road to achievement.” – C.S. Lewis
I have many fingerposts that have pointed me in the direction of my achievements and I love it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. What does your journey look like?
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Bye for now!
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Grounded African 