Today I say farewell to 45. 46 here I come!!! 😜😁 I am so grateful for this past year. It has been extremely difficult but, thanks to the trials I have learnt a lot about myself along the way.
Lesson 1: I love been part of a partnership
I have spent decades avoiding a long term relationship for so many reasons. The two main reasons though were that I was afraid of losing my independence and control over my life, and I was afraid of losing myself. Even though the relationship didn’t last, I am so glad that I opened myself up to it and gave it a shot. The relationship might have ended but, upon reflection, in addition to the some of the lessons I learned which you can read about here, I discovered so much about myself. Guess what fam…At no point did I lose myself. What did do was discover new sides of myself that I am thoroughly enjoying. My ex constantly encouraged me to write. He is not a reader but actually enjoyed reading whatever I wrote which gave me confidence. Thank you Tattoo guy. I didn’t lose my independence either. I willing gave up my independence in a lot of areas and it was a joy and a pleasure to have someone to share those areas of responsibility with. When we tackled anything together, we made an amazing team. If felt good to be a part of that. Being a part of a partnership was a fulfilling experience and I cannot wait for the next right opportunity to present itself. And yes, to those of you who know me well…I really did write that…lol. Bring on the next relationship Universe…I am ready and open to it! 😃✨
Lesson 2: I am stronger than I give myself credit for
With the breakup of my relationship and the passing of my mum happening within two months of each other, there were times when I thought I was going to crumble into a heap and just fade away. I didn’t, I got up every morning, I put one foot in front of the other and dealt with each challenge as it arose. I did have the support of amazing friends at work and at home and of my cousin and of course my baby sister and dad. They are all amazing. Thank you. At the end of the day though I had to get up on my own and help not only myself through these huge changes in my life but my son as well as he was directly affected by both breakups as well. We have both pulled through and I believe that we are stronger than ever because of it.
Lesson 3: Not only am I enough but I am worthy of my hearts desires
I have previously mentioned my return to studying the Law of Attraction in an attempt to change my perspective on life, redefine what I want from life and hit the start button. I knew there were aspects of it that I didn’t understand properly and I was determined to get a better grasp of it. I have now read a few more books on it and even watched a movie and the one thing that I have come to realise is that I have not understood my worth. Not at all. I have played small because I didn’t think I was worthy of bigger. I definitely know better now! Gosh darn it! The Universe is limitless! Who am I to limit myself?? I have always loved the piece by Marianne Williamson but I never truly understood it until now…
The thing is that dreaming big takes a belief in yourself that is actually not easy to just switch on. I feel like I am stepping into a whole new world and it’s pretty scary (so scary that my heart is beating so fast as I write this that the breathing app on my watch has been activated…lol) but the rewards that await me are bigger than I can conceive so I am going to take this one step at a time and lets see where the path leads. As Trevor Noah said in his book “Born a crime”: “But the highest rung of whats possible is far beyond the world you can see.” Boy has he shown that to be true!
Lesson 4: I love to bake and to cook
Are you back on your chair yet? 😂 Shocker of a discovery isn’t it.😜 My mum was a baker of note! I never bothered to learn from her because i believed that baking was not my thing or cooking for that matter. She did however teach my son to bake. She taught all her grandchildren to. It was her “thing” that she did with them and they loved it.
As it turns out, Tattoo guy had a sweet tooth so I decided that I would try my hand at baking to satisfy his cravings. The things we do for love…sigh. Anyway, I started collecting my mum’s recipes from her and was surprised to find that I actually enjoyed the process and I was actually quite good at it. My mum was initially very surprised when I started asking for her recipes and was quite thrilled that I actually used them and sent pics of my successes.
Baking has now become my thing with my son. It is an opportunity for us to bond and to honour my mum’s memory. Each taste of our cakes and tarts take me back to Sunday nights at home as a kid and brings to life a taste of my mother’s love for us. This was how she shared her love for everyone. Alex and I are so blessed to be able to carry on the tradition.
As for cooking, Tattoo guy actually liked my cooking. I know I know…you can get back on your chair again. 😂 Having someone actually enjoy eating my food made me want to do more of it and even experiment a little here and there. My favourite dish to make is lasagne. I have even bought a dining room table so that I can cook for and entertain my friends. Yes friends, that’s right, clear you diaries, dinner parties are at my house this year. Come hungry!😉😊
So yes, 45 was a hard year and a crazy year but an interesting and revealing year. I am grateful to have been blessed with the time and the experiences. 46…bring on the new beginnings, the adventures and the learning curves. I am enjoying this new me😊
Thank you as always for taking the time to read my blog. Don’t forget to like/comment/share if you enjoyed it and feel others might as well.
Grounded African 