Category: Life

5 tips and tricks that keep me sane

Life has this tendency to throw us curve balls from time to time (duh!).  How you react to them makes all the difference.  I truly believe that those curve balls are God’s way of helping us evolve into the person we need to be so that we can truly fulfill our purpose in this life.  Of course along the way, we learn a few tip and tricks that help keep us sane and are definitely made for sharing.  These are just a few of mine.

  1. Do not forget your sunscreen! Ever!

…and your hat and sunglasses.  Being  in the sun does serious damage to our skins.  It ages us and it puts us at risk of skin cancer.  I remember visiting a pair of twins once.  One was a sun worshipper while the other was more of an indoors kinda gal who also applied her sunscreen religiously.  The difference in thier skins was amazing.  You guessed it, the sun worshipper looked older and had more lines on her face. Her skin also looked a little more leathery.  Not a good look on anyone.  Don’t believe me?  Have a look at your face in the mirror.  If you are a driver (and live in the southern hemisphere),  look closely at your skin on the right hand side of your face and then on the left hand side.  Do you see the difference in your skin texture and marks?  Believe me now?  Good.  Now don’t forget your sunscreen.

2. People do what works for them

This is one of Dr Phil’s original 10 life lessons.  Every time I have watched someone make the same mistake over and over again, I now know that there is a reward in it for them so they will not break the circle of their behaviour until they can acknowledge that they are deriving some sort of reward for behaving in that manner.    I used to work myself up into knots out of sheer frustration watching friends constantly bang their heads against a brick wall.  Once I realised that there was a reward in it for them that may or may not be harmful to them, I was able to view their situation differently and, where possible,  help them break the cycle

3. Routines Rock!

I used to pride myself on living a spontaneous life…and then I became a mother.  One quickly learns that no routine = chaos! This then leads to insanity!!!  I kid you not.  Turns out that not only do routines just help the day run smoothly, they also apparently help free up space in your brain so that you can concentrate on more complex tasks.  I’m still not kidding.  Not too long ago we put a new alarm system in at home.  This meant a change in the morning routine because now we had to add an extra step to the leaving routine.  Chaos ensued the first few days.  The keypad is outside of my normal “path” so on somedays I had go back to the house 2-3 times to fetch stuff I had forgotten because of the one break in routine. So there you have it…guard your routines jealously.

4. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge

Another one of Dr Phil’s 10 life lessons and linked to no. 2 above. Pretty self explanatory but difficult to do.   A handy life lesson that can help you let go in so many different situations. Even more difficult is accepting that they will only change when they are ready.  Ever wasted your breath telling a drug addict or alcoholic that they have a problem and asking them to go to rehab?  Yip, that’s what I’m talking about.  Only they can and will make the change when they are ready.

5. Coffee is the answer no matter the question

I have always enjoyed a cup of coffee.  I have no idea how I acquired the taste as a kid but i did.  Coffee is there for me when I am down, when I am tired, when I am excited and when i just need a moment of peace.  Since giving up smoking…coffee has become my drug of choice and there is no way I will give this one up.  Besides, a proper cup of coffee is supposed to be laden with anti-oxidants which are good for me so there…it is no more the baddie it used to be.

These are just a few of the little lessons/truths that help keep me sane in this life.  What are yours?  Drop me a line in the comments section.  I woud love to hear from you.

Bye for now

 

 

 

 

 

 

When is a failure a failure?

How often have you looked around you, at your friends, at your family, your colleagues and felt like a failure or felt less successful? I have done it so many times. I felt so down because I didn’t have a fancy car and I didn’t own a home let alone a home in the “right” area. I didn’t have a fast tracked career. I was “average”. Shock and horror😱.

Mark Twain once said that comparison is the thief of joy.  I think it takes most of us a while to come to this realisation.  Some of us never do.  We spend our entire lives chasing someone else’s definition of success without even understanding if that definition even brings that person joy and inner peace or are they just enslaved by their material trappings, their “symbols of success”.    I found that by comparing myself to others, I was constantly focused on their material gains…the car, the house and even the career.  I did not question if they had sold their souls to gain these material goods and live in the lap of luxury.

Not all comparison is bad though.  A lesson that I teach my son is that his growth as a person and in everything he does is determined by the benchmarks he sets himself.  This he should base on his comparison of his “today”self to his “yesterday” self.  In this way he will continously improve and, perhaps without trying to, he will be the champion of his chosen sport or the head of a company one day.  I try and apply the principle in my own life although it does take reflection and I am not that good at it.  What’s also cool about doing this is that suddenly, your so called failures become your learning curves.  Yip, you can’t help but start looking at failure in a positive light.  Who knew????  In addition, when you look at it in a positive light you tend to be less hard on yourself because it puts the failure in perspective.

Here’s the thing though.  Materially I am not much better off than i was before my “epiphany” on failure.  Mentally though I am deinitely stronger. Emotionally I am definitely happier.  How did I get to this place though?  Well, it is actually pretty simple.  After reading “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, I sat down and listed all the things i had achieved.  I was definitely not modest about it too.  No filters were used.   I was so blown away when I was done. I had actually accomplished so much already.  Turns out I am a success in my own right.  This realisation gave me the desire to want to go out and  want to do more.  I set myself new goals and have achieved some already.  Some I can almost taste while I may need to adjust my sails in order to achieve others.

“Failures are fingerposts on the road to achievement.” – C.S. Lewis

I have many fingerposts that have pointed me in the direction of  my achievements and I love it.   I wouldn’t have it any other way.  What does your journey look like?

If you enjoyed this post then you know what to do…please like and share.

Bye for now!

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Perfection is overrated!

Yip. I don’t know about you but I have spent virtually my entire life trying to be perfect. I have wanted the perfect body, the perfect social skills, the perfect walk, the perfect hair, the perfect skin and the list goes on and on! Why you ask? I thought it was what I was supposed to strive for. Strangely enough, I believed that I would never be accepted by society if I wasn’t perfect.  Aah the pressure we place ourselves under.

So here’s the thing…it turns out that I am enough as I am 🙂 Yip you read that right.  I am enough as I am.  The funny thing is that I am more than 30kg’s heavier than I was at 20 (when I was at the height of my perfection angst),  my skin is still as oily as it was then.  I now have all these dark marks on my face from adult-onset acne.  My skin colour has gone from a beautiful olive colour to a darker shade from years of sun exposure.  Despite all of these so called imperfections, I am at peace with myself.  Ok ok, the weight still has to drop as it’s just uncomfortable and unhealthy  but other than that I am at peace with myself.

Yes I was probably pretty close to being as perfect as one can hope to be without photoshop back then but I had no idea.  I chased an ideal that I saw in magazines and read about in books.  Let’s face it, heroines were generally beautiful and had it all together.  I wanted to be like them.  I wanted to wear the smart clothes and have a cool little flat.  I wanted to be on the arm of a great looking guy who had it all together.  Here’s what I have come to realise though…

Good looking guys who have their shit together are made not found

The good-looking guy who has it all together…a rarity.  He exists but they are generally taken.  Turns out that that guy generaly hooks up with a woman from a youngish age and she helps him evolve into the guy who has it all together.  It’s either his girlfriend or his mom who helped him reach his potential.  So single ladies out there, that guy that you know in your heart is a good guy and is your best friend but he may not have it all together yet but you know he has the potential to.  Give him a try and grow with him.  You will make lots of memories together in the process to share with your grandchildren one day 🙂

FOMO sucks

Time spent fearing that you are missing out on stuff because you don’t have a social life like the people on facebook is time wasted.  Your social life doesn’t define you.  Pursuing your passions and the impact that you have on the world is what defines you.  You define you.

#quotecreator #life #lifeskills #Iamenough #groundedafrican

Physical perfection is overated

Just like we all have our personality quirks, we have our physical quirks as well.  I have skinny ankles.  I was so conscious of them.  I hardly ever wore three-quarter length pants or midi skirts.  Then one day I got overmyself and embraced them.  I asked myself what the worst thing that could happen would be if I put them on show and decided that people would always find something to point a finger at and snigger.  That’s their problem and not mine.  I love my skinny ankles so much now that I even had them tattooed!  I live in three-quarter length jeans now too.

So there you have it.  I am by no means perfect but I am definitely enough.  For this I am grateful. It’s ok to have quirks.  It’s ok to be you. Relax and enjoy it.

Thanks for reading my blog.  Please leave a like or a comment.  I would love to hear from you on this topic.

Until the next time,

Bye

 

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