Time And Tide Wait For No Man (or Woman)

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Ever since the pandemic, I have been acutely aware that we are not promised an eternity in this life. When I saw what was happening in China early in 2020, I started taking my son out over weekends to create new memories because I didn’t know if we would go into lockdown, or for how long if we did and if one of us got the virus and didn’t make it, at least the other had recent memories to hold on to. Once we could move around again, I vowed to dress up as often as I could and show up at every opportunity because, to me, it is a way of honouring every moment that I have. I have also made a few additional little changes because I am just grateful that I am still here and I want to make the most of the moments I have on this earth.

If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.

Maria Edgeworth

Over the past 3 weeks or so I have been bombarded with, what feels like, messages from the Universe to live in the moment and to possibly to find my values and live by them. I thought I was but clearly there is something that I am missing. It started when I kept seeing people recommend “When Breathe becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi.

I saw it recommended on my Twitter and Medium feeds so many times so I took it as a sign and got hold of a copy. What a great book! He had a beautiful writing style. In it, his oncologist often tells him to “find his values” when he asks for a prognosis. He ponders on what he would do if he had 3 months, a year or 10 years left. This notion of focusing on finding your values rather than focusing on the time you have left or letting that determine what you will focus on, has really played on my mind. The reality is that none of us know how much time we have left. Every single moment is a gift. How am I going to spend it? What will bring me the greatest joy and, for those around me, the greatest benefit?

When my son’s dad died almost 3 months ago. It was a huge shock. He was only 43 and had a heart attack. I stayed at my sister’s place the weekend of his funeral and there was an old fashioned clock next to my bed. I was so aware of the steady rhythm of that tick and that tock. Every second of my life passing by while I lay there. It was yet another scary reminder that time keeps moving on even if we don’t. I was acutely aware that I hadn’t accomplished all that I would like to.

Since completing the book over the weekend, I have had more than one person tell me that they had been reminded to live in the now and to live their best life now through a podcast or a sermon, etc. It’s clearly no coincidence and I just need to meditate on the direction I want to go and get moving. I started doing something towards one of my goals on Sunday. Let’s see how it pans out.

Thanks for stopping by. Let me know how you are being intentional with your time these days. Bye for now!

31 Days of Gratitude 2022- Day 2

Do you do also feel like after day 1 it’s downhill from there? That’s how I felt today. Suddenly it feels like I am knee-deep in December and Christmas is almost upon me and the year is virtually over and and and. Suddenly it’s all so overwhelming and I feel peopled out already. That being said, I have lots to be grateful for though.

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I spent most of my day with my son. It felt like old times. Pre-covid. It feel like he was a little kid again. I am so grateful that we had the time together. He lost his dad 3 weeks ago and today, for the first time, he shared some of memories of his dad with me. I was so glad he confided in me finally. It eventually got too much for him though and he clammed up on me in the evening again. I left him to just process the emotions he was feeling. I am so grateful for him. I am grateful for our bond. I am grateful for his trust and his love. I pray that God will give me the strength and wisdom to support him through this very tough period in his life and to help him navigate it.

Thank you Lord for my son.

Weekly Reflections – Life begins at 40

This weekend we had the privilage of celebrating my dad’s 70th birthday with him. It was a tad bit early as his birthday is during the week and he lives fairly far from us. My cousin gave a little speech at the get-together that really got me thinking. He spoke about why “life begins at 40” and he made so much sense.

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He explained that when we reach 40, we stop paying attention to the more frivalous things in life as well as other people’s opinions and we start living life on our own terms. We realise that we probably have fewer years ahead of us than we have behind us and that puts things into perspective for us. Being on the verge of 50 myself, I know exactly what he is talking about.

When I turned 40, things changed both physically and mentally. I felt lighter in some ways. I felt liberated because he is right, this is when you just stop worrying about other people’s opinions and what they want for you. I started focusing on what made me feel more fulfilled rather than just happy (there is a difference) and I started to question what my purpose was and how I was making a positive contribution to this world rather than blindly following what everyone else was doing. I have always walked my own path but half the time it was not done consciously and at 40, I found myself questioning if it was the path I still wanted to be on. I didn’t know it then but I started questioning my commitment to security and started looking for a path I could take to freedom.

I finally acknowledged that I wanted to pursue a career in psychology so I started studying towards a degree in it. I had always rented and didn’t have an issue with that but suddenly i wanted to put down roots for myself and my son so I took a leap of faith and bought property. This was huge for me as I had never liked the idea of being tired down to any thing or any one. I even have a new car. I drove the same car for 17 years!

Now 50 is creeping up on me and there is so much more evolving and growing that I would like to, and feel the need, to do. This past week, the Universe has been throwing rocks at me to let me know that it is time to make some changes. Even my cousin’s speech was a bit of a boulder…lol. It’s time to jump before I am pushed and we all know that when the Universe pushes, it can be through an unpleasant experience. So watch this space. The leap is coming. I know what it needs to be and I am just hatching up the courage to do it.

If you are 40 or over, I would love to hear what changes you found yourself making. Did you change careers? Did you move countries? Or where your changes more subtle but very meaningful to you?

I am sure you agree that at this point in our lives, we are not going through a midlife crises but arriving at a our happy place. We are more comfortable being ourselves and more accepting of others and their choices. I am enjoying getting older. Are you?

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you be safe

May you live with ease

Loving Kindness meditation

Bye for now 🌼