Celebrating 2023: A Month of Gratitude – Day 18

The author appreciates the positive impacts that her father, son, and a friend, Dan, have had on her life. Their influences have shaped her sense of self, empowerment, and understanding of men.

Daily writing prompt
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.
View all responses

Since this is my month of gratitude, this prompt was right up my alley. There are a few men who have positively impacted my life. There’s my father, my son (even though he isn’t quite a man yet), and a friend who was clearly in my life for a reason and is no longer around, to name a few. Let’s start with my dad.


My Dad


Before my son’s arrival, no person loved me unconditionally like my dad did. What I do doesn’t matter; even if I disappoint him terribly, I am loved. What more could I ask of any human being. My dad is a gentle, loving soul who has a good heart. He finds his purpose in doing things for others. He is not all sparkle and fairy dust, though. He was very strict with us when we were kids and had quite a temper. Although he only hit my sister and me once each, and he couldn’t bear the pain he caused us, he never ever hit us again. He is very quiet and loves to read. All the second-hand booksellers in the area know me because I am constantly buying him books to read. He loves history and is our family’s genealogist. From him, I learnt that “this too shall pass”, that I can do anything I put my mind to and that being a woman is not a reason to let anyone hold me back. He has taught me what it feels like to be loved unconditionally and what it means to be of service to others. I am so grateful to call him Dad.


My Son


My son is a gift that I thank God for every day. He is an old soul and, therefore, a wise soul. He has taught me to appreciate the little things in life and who I am. I have watched him evolve through each stage of his life, and I marvel at how quickly things change. This year, I have watched him grow from an angry young person trying hard to be brave to a calmer, more mature young man. He inspires me to want to be better and to set an example for him. Each time he raises his game, I am inspired to raise mine even further. I could not have asked for a more wonderful son. I am very grateful for him.
The other thing that my son has taught me is that males are indeed a different ball game altogether. I do not have any brothers, so I only experienced males as friends and, of course, as boyfriends. I used to get so frustrated with my boyfriends about how they viewed life and behaved. I had a terrible habit of always picking weirdos for boyfriends. Having a son has taught me that they were not weirdos; they were just boys being boys. Now that I know that, I can live with it. Thank you, my child, for teaching your mum to appreciate men as they are.


My Friend, Dan


Dan came into my life a few months ago. It was very unexpected, and we just clicked. He is a fascinating, very well-rounded guy who lives on another continent. He has experience as a teacher, and he finds his purpose in creating programs to help kids overcome whatever difficulties they may be facing. I truly believe God sent him to me because He knew I needed help with my son. The funny thing is that Dan doesn’t believe in God, and I understand why he doesn’t, but it didn’t stop God from working through him.
Spirituality teaches us that if we want others to change their behaviour, we must change ours first, and they will respond in time. I was so wrapped up in thinking that there was something wrong with my child that I started to feel powerless to change the situation. Dan helped me see that there was nothing wrong with my son and that I needed to change his behaviour when he became angry. This turned everything around far sooner than I expected. I am so grateful for his help in changing my perspective about my son. He also appreciated me in such a way that I liked who I saw when I viewed myself through his eyes. Through his eyes, I realised that I already am the person I aspired to be and that I am ready to evolve to the next version of me. I am so grateful to him for this insight.


I wouldn’t be who I am today if it was not for each of these men. Who are the men in your life that have brought a positive change?

Thanks for reading! Be blessed!

Celebrating 2023: A Month of Gratitude-Day 17

I recount a cherished evening spent at the annual Trail of Lights with my long-time friend, Johnine.

Hello hello! Welcome back!

I had such a wonderful evening with my best friend this evening. We visited the annual Trail of Lights held at the Durban Botanical Gardens. The weather was perfect and the company even more so. 

We have attended this event every year together with our sons. I really look forward to it. This year, our sons dumped us for the Liverpool vs Man U game! We were shocked but I guess it’s a sign that they are growing up now. We didn’t let them stop us though.

Today I am so grateful for my friend, Johnine. One morning in 1987, I was on my way to school when I heard my name being called by a girl behind me. It was Johnnie. We had never spoken before and for whatever reason, she called out to me and we started walking to school together. What started out as a walk to school has become a walk through life together. She was even with me in the theatre when I gave birth to my son. I am so blessed to still call her my best friend after all these years.  She is an amazing human being who has a very pure heart and the strongest faith in God of anyone I know. And let me tell you…God has her back 24/7/365! All I can say is: “Thank you God for blessing me with her friendship.”

I’ll leave you with a few pics of the beautiful lights that we had the pleasure of viewing this evening as well a pic of the build-a-bear, Johnine spoilt me with. I have decided to call her Bella-Amour. 

Thanks for stopping by! Be blessed!

Celebrating 2023: A Month of gratitude – Day 16

It’s been a challenging year. I share my wellness techniques including ample sleep, hot baths, walks, and more.

Hi there! I can’t believe I missed writing about day 15! I have to admit, though, that this year, I am super tired, and all I want to do these days is “veg”. This year has been fabulous, but it has also taken its toll on me.

Usually, I would feel terribly guilty because I would be worried that I am just being lazy, but I know I am not. I am just really, really tired. I know that if I don’t listen to my body now, I am likely to crash and burn at some point in the near future. That helps no one. Our well-being is so important, yet we take it for granted until our health takes a huge hit. I have a few tools in my well-being arsenal that have helped me through this year. These include:

  • Lots of Sleep: Some weekends and even some weeknights, I spend most of my time just sleeping as much as possible until the day arrives when I feel well-rested again. I don’t know about you, but I often find that it takes more than one night’s good sleep to get me back to feeling rested when I am exhausted. 
  • Hot baths – This is usually my weekend go-to when I need to sort my thoughts out. With a few candles, an essential oil burner, and my Spotify “Chill Beats” playlist, I am good to go. I love the smell of jasmine, wild orchid, ylang-ylang, and sandalwood. I also enjoy the scents of lime and clary sage and Ginger & lime. The latter has such a clean scent. 
  • Walking– walking in the afternoon with my friend, Megan, has helped as we bounce our thoughts, ideas and some of our frustrations off each other. Walking is known to help generate new ideas, so it has been great to have someone to walk with and talk through the ideas as they come through. 
  • Green Tea with Jasmine/Camomile Tea – These help me get a good night’s rest. I sleep like the dead when I drink jasmine-scented green tea. I woke up feeling like my brain had completely shut down. My sleep feels dreamless, although it probably isn’t.
  • Journalling – This is where I vent most of the time. It is so liberating to get stuff off my chest without any filters. Journalling is proven to help people get through difficult periods. In “Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within”, Janet Conner has a well-researched chapter on the science behind why journalling works. The entire book is beneficial as well. I don’t always do it daily, but knowing that I have somewhere to vent unfiltered when I need to is always reassuring.
  • Friends and family – sometimes, connecting with a friend is all you need to leave you feeling rejuvenated. It’s just my son and I at home, so I come to teenage conversations every day. Sometimes, I need to connect with a fellow adult in the evenings. Then I pick up a phone and call a friend. Thankfully, whoever I call is always available to chat. I am very grateful to my friends. I really don’t know what I would do without their support. I am blessed.
Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com

What tools do you have in your toolbox to get you through life? I would love to hear what works for you. Please add them in the comments.

Well, that’s it from me today. I think I will hop into the hot bath and then enjoy a cup of jasmine-scented green tea next :).