This year I have had a lot to celebrate but life has also thrown a few challenges my way. I am grateful for these challenges though as I’ve learnt a lot about my perception of myself and the people I interact with. Mostly I am grateful to God for hearing my cries and sending me help whenever requested.
I am especially grateful for all the help I have received with getting my son through his first year of grieving for his dad. Thank you to my friends (old and new) and family for listening when I needed to vent, for your prayers for my child and for your guidance.
I have had to make changes in order to give him the space to find his own way through his anger and grief. I have had to accept that sometimes my behaviours were not helping him at all and so I had to stop some of them to bring about a change in his behaviours. I am amazed at how quickly he has learnt to recognise when his behaviour hasn’t been optimal and he needs to stop and pivot.
He is such an amazing kid. I am truly blessed to be to his mum.
I read somewhere recently that as parents, we are mere shepherds whose role it is to guide our children while they are in our care. I hope these letters will help him navigate life and help him find the path that God intended for him to walk.
Just the two of us
Dear Alex, Throughout life, you will meet people and find yourself in situations that will make you question your worth and abilities, and sometimes, you will even question your sanity. Sadly, a lot of the time, they will be people that you love and thought you could respect. They will pick on your appearance, on what you say, and on what you do. They will also try to use your beautiful golden brown skin against you. They will try to belittle you in every possible way. Don’t let them. Stand tall in the knowledge that you are enough just as you are. Everything about you is unique and is to be celebrated. Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are. Don’t let this make you arrogant, though. Remain humble and grounded. You will accomplish so much more by doing this. Marianne Williamson says in her book “A Year of Miracles”: “The perfect you isn’t something you need to create because God already created it.” Please always remember this. You are enough as you are. This is one of my favourite passages from Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love. Let it help you when your confidence is low.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
Today’s Prompt: Describe the happiest day of your life
Today’s prompt is a no-brainer for me. The happiest day of my life was August 7th 2007. That was the day I found out I was pregnant. I used a home pregnancy kit and I remember it being a wednesday evening. I was in complete shock for a few seconds and then complete and utter joy swiftly overtook that shock! I was so excited I literally wanted to shout it from the roof top.
I lived alone and was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. I still had to have it confirmed by a dr but I new in my heart that was merely a formality. I spent that entire night planning on how I was I going make space for my child financially especially as I knew I was going to be a single mum from the get go. I hadn’t planned on falling pregnant but I felt so blessed by this wonderful surprise that God had gifted me with.
The next happiest day was the 7th Jan 2008 when I foound out he would be a boy and then of course, the day of his arrival was the 3rd happiest day of my life. I have been so fortunate that he has made motherhood a relatively easy going experience. We have had the usual ups and downs and thankfully we have come out of each episode stronger 😊🙏I am so blessed to call him my son.
Grounded African 