This a great question. I have been reading through many of the answers and am so fascinated that most writers have not mentioned material gifts. Instead, they have spoken about emotive gifts like time, love, respect and appreciation. Material gifts are always welcome for me, especially as a single woman. I most often have to spoil myself as there are not too many people thinking of spoiling me. That is not the greatest gift that someone could give me, though. Much like the gift I appreciate the most is time, but not just time, time for me when I need you to be available.
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I know it sounds a little odd, but it is borne out of my recent experience. I had made a new friend online, and we got on very well, or so I thought. The strangest thing was that I could never reach them when I wanted to chat. I could message them, and they would message me back as and when it suited them. Sometimes, it would be almost a day later. In the end, it got so bad that the only way to have a conversation with them was to wait until they messaged me and catch them mid-type. It was so weird, so as you can imagine, the friendship didn’t last. I never realised how important that was to me before. My long-time friends will always either respond immediately or as soon as they possibly can, so I have never had to think about it. Our relationships are reciprocal. This was such a weird situation that I am still trying to wrap my head around it. The person did have control issues but this was control on another level.
The other special gift you can give me is to be yourself and accept me as I am. I get uncomfortable when someone tries to change me by judging me. There is a difference between trying to change someone into what you want them to be and trying to help someone grow. I am very open to the latter. The former is a no for me.
That’s it from me for today. Let me know what the greatest gift you would like to receive is.
It’s Christmas Eve! I am very excited as I get to see my dad tomorrow. My heart is sore that my son will not be with us, but I know he misses us already. I am looking forward to being around the rest of my family!
I used to love the rituals and traditions of Christmas as a kid. My mother would bake Christmas mince pies the night before to have with coffee/tea after midnight mass. I was not much of a fan, but I enjoyed them when they came out of the oven. Her pastry was always light and crispy, so I loved biting into the pies. We would attend midnight mass, which was the most popular mass. I don’t think our church was ever as full during the year as it was for midnight mass. It was the coolest place to be!
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When we got home, we got to open our gifts. Sometimes, that gift was a birthday and Christmas present since my birthday was two weeks after, or it was a small gift at Christmas, and I would receive the main one for my birthday. At the time, my heart would be a bit sore, but one nice gift was definitely better than none. I grew up in a middle-class family, so there was always enough to meet our needs and, pretty often, our wants as well, but sometimes the needs required a little more of a stretch in the budget. In South Africa, January is also the start of the school year, so school uniforms, etc., are the budget priority every year. I digress… once all the gifts were opened, it was time for bed. In the morning, my mum would cook a hearty lunch. There was always tongue, roast beef or pork, a curry, rice, salad, or veggies. My favourite part was always dessert. My mum made a traditional boiled Christmas pudding and would stuff a few coins inside. Everyone always got one, but it was that moment of sheer delight when you heard your teaspoon scrape against it as you took another spoonful or you saw it peaking through in your pudding. Even though it was guaranteed, I always felt super lucky to get one.
After lunch, my dad would insist that he suffered from a skin shortage and that his expanded tummy was pulling his eyelids close. 😂 My sisters and I would be occupied with our gifts, or we would compare gifts with neighbourhood friends. My mum would rest.
Christmas at Granny’s
We continued this tradition until the year before my mum passed away. Our kids loved it just as much as we did. We would leave a biscuit and milk for Father Christmas, and the person who locked up when leaving for midnight mass would have to place the gifts under the tree, drink the milk, and eat the biscuits. 😂 Every year, without fail, the kids were in awe. They believed Father Christmas had visited while we were in church and left their gifts. When my son was about five, he was convinced he heard Father Christmas’s sleigh flying over the church. He was too cute.
Our new ritual is to assemble at my baby sister’s house for lunch, and we open our gifts there. Her husband and mother-in-law make us divine curries, biryanis, gammon, and salads. Yum! My mouth waters at the thought. I make the traditional Christmas pudding, and I still add the coins for the fun of it. I am so grateful to have such fantastic memories of Christmas and to have been able to share my childhood experiences with my son. We have a new reality now, and I feel it is fitting that the tradition has changed, as it would not have been the same without my mum. She was central to the old one. I am also grateful that I still get to celebrate Christmas and that I get to do it with my family.
I have been searching for pics of Christmases past and I noticed that I have very few. While I am disappointed, I also see it as a good thing. It means I am so present in the moment that I tend to forget about my phone. That is a very rare for me these days. Christmas is definitely an “All In” day for me.
Do you still follow the same rituals as you did as a child, or have you created new rituals and traditions for your family? Let me know in the comments.
Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful Christmas! Be blessed.
I started decluttering my digital space. For whatever reason, I get the sense that I need to do a lot of serious decluttering, both online and physically. I’m guessing I have a lot to make space for in 2024. Lots to look forward t
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While deleting files, I came across some of my notes from Robin Banks’s “Mind Power” and “Shaping Your Destiny” courses that I took in 2020. I had forgotten how good the material was. I still say my affirmations on my drive to work every day but there is so much more depth to the course material than I remembered. I also sat back and reflected on the person I was then and the person I am today. Both courses have had such a significant impact on me. I have become more confident about my strengths and have worked on my weaknesses. I am so grateful that I was able to take these courses.
One realisation I have since come to about myself is that I am more likely to put knowledge into practice if I take an instructor-led course instead of just reading the book. One of the main reasons is that the person who created the course has also done the thinking on the best method to apply the knowledge. They have done the thinking about when the best time in the day is to develop the required habit, how to do it, how much time to allocate, and, if necessary, where to do it. The instructor can convey the concept far more creatively than a book can. It becomes easier to grasp.
I have often chosen books over courses because they are cheaper and I can read whenever possible. With courses, I have to create the time in my calendar to attend the course. As a result of the investment of my time and money, I am committed to building the skill or competency. With a book, a lot more willpower is required because you need to figure out how to implement the habit, etc. I can overthink things, tie myself into knots, and then give up because it feels like it requires too much effort
I will still rely heavily on books going forward but where I really need to develop new habits and skills, I will seek an instructor-led course to help me.
What is the most effective method of learning for you?
Grounded African 