Tag: #quote

“You’re not defined by your past experiences. You’re prepared by them.”― Anthony Does

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

Oooh, that’s another good question that got me thinking. If you had asked me this question 16 or so years ago, it would definitely have been the past. I was so focused on what was left behind that I didn’t give much thought to the future. This had such a negative impact on my life.

I was such an angry and probably moody, depressed person because I wanted it all back, and, to be honest, I was terrified of looking forward. I didn’t know where to start rebuilding.

Then, through Oprah’s show, I discovered the power of now and the law of attraction, and I started focusing on the now and building the future. It’s a journey—one where I constantly have to be mindful of my thoughts.

Where I was once very judgemental and resentful, I now try to be positive and see the positive in others first. However, if my instincts tell me to steer clear of someone, I listen because some element of that person will do me more harm than good. Not deliberately, but they are to be treated as a ship passing in the night. I still have to master the art of seeing possibilities within problems, but at least I am conscious of it so I can keep working on it.

Image: Canva

The other benefit of anchoring in the now and looking forward is that I am always filled with faith and hope. The world seems brighter, and I feel lighter. It’s a much happier place to be. I still get disappointed when things take longer to fall into place than I would like, but I do know that it will eventually, so I don’t dwell on the disappointment. It also means I don’t dwell in anger either. Living in the now also means that you have to accept what is. So yes, I still get angry, but I can let go and move on once I have accepted what is.

An interesting lesson I have learned is that the past has a way of popping up when I enter a new phase in my life which requires me to make some changes. I become aware of experiences in the past that caused me to hold myself back in some way. This helps me figure out the changes I need to make within in order to become who I need to be to achieve my next goal. I don’t dwell on the past though. I sit with what comes up for as long as I need to understand the lesson and move on.

So, to answer the question, I spend more time in the now with the future firmly in my sights.

Thanks for popping in. Let me know in the comments where your focus lies and why.

 “Time is the most valuable thing that a man can spend.” — Diogenes

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

This a great question. I have been reading through many of the answers and am so fascinated that most writers have not mentioned material gifts. Instead, they have spoken about emotive gifts like time, love, respect and appreciation. Material gifts are always welcome for me, especially as a single woman. I most often have to spoil myself as there are not too many people thinking of spoiling me. That is not the greatest gift that someone could give me, though. Much like the gift I appreciate the most is time, but not just time, time for me when I need you to be available.

Image: Canva

I know it sounds a little odd, but it is borne out of my recent experience. I had made a new friend online, and we got on very well, or so I thought. The strangest thing was that I could never reach them when I wanted to chat. I could message them, and they would message me back as and when it suited them. Sometimes, it would be almost a day later. In the end, it got so bad that the only way to have a conversation with them was to wait until they messaged me and catch them mid-type. It was so weird, so as you can imagine, the friendship didn’t last. I never realised how important that was to me before. My long-time friends will always either respond immediately or as soon as they possibly can, so I have never had to think about it.  Our relationships are reciprocal. This was such a weird situation that I am still trying to wrap my head around it. The person did have control issues but this was control on another level.

The other special gift you can give me is to be yourself and accept me as I am. I get uncomfortable when someone tries to change me by judging me. There is a difference between trying to change someone into what you want them to be and trying to help someone grow. I am very open to the latter. The former is a no for me.

That’s it from me for today. Let me know what the greatest gift you would like to receive is.

Christmas Magic

It’s Christmas Eve! I am very excited as I get to see my dad tomorrow. My heart is sore that my son will not be with us, but I know he misses us already.
I am looking forward to being around the rest of my family!

I used to love the rituals and traditions of Christmas as a kid. My mother would bake Christmas mince pies the night before to have with coffee/tea after midnight mass. I was not much of a fan, but I enjoyed them when they came out of the oven. Her pastry was always light and crispy, so I loved biting into the pies. We would attend midnight mass, which was the most popular mass. I don’t think our church was ever as full during the year as it was for midnight mass. It was the coolest place to be!

Image: Canva


When we got home, we got to open our gifts. Sometimes, that gift was a birthday and Christmas present since my birthday was two weeks after, or it was a small gift at Christmas, and I would receive the main one for my birthday. At the time, my heart would be a bit sore, but one nice gift was definitely better than none. I grew up in a middle-class family, so there was always enough to meet our needs and, pretty often, our wants as well, but sometimes the needs required a little more of a stretch in the budget. In South Africa, January is also the start of the school year, so school uniforms, etc., are the budget priority every year. I digress… once all the gifts were opened, it was time for bed.
In the morning, my mum would cook a hearty lunch. There was always tongue, roast beef or pork, a curry, rice, salad, or veggies. My favourite part was always dessert. My mum made a traditional boiled Christmas pudding and would stuff a few coins inside. Everyone always got one, but it was that moment of sheer delight when you heard your teaspoon scrape against it as you took another spoonful or you saw it peaking through in your pudding. Even though it was guaranteed, I always felt super lucky to get one.


After lunch, my dad would insist that he suffered from a skin shortage and that his expanded tummy was pulling his eyelids close. 😂 My sisters and I would be occupied with our gifts, or we would compare gifts with neighbourhood friends. My mum would rest.

Christmas at Granny’s


We continued this tradition until the year before my mum passed away. Our kids loved it just as much as we did. We would leave a biscuit and milk for Father Christmas, and the person who locked up when leaving for midnight mass would have to place the gifts under the tree, drink the milk, and eat the biscuits. 😂 Every year, without fail, the kids were in awe. They believed Father Christmas had visited while we were in church and left their gifts. When my son was about five, he was convinced he heard Father Christmas’s sleigh flying over the church. He was too cute.


Our new ritual is to assemble at my baby sister’s house for lunch, and we open our gifts there. Her husband and mother-in-law make us divine curries, biryanis, gammon, and salads. Yum! My mouth waters at the thought. I make the traditional Christmas pudding, and I still add the coins for the fun of it.
I am so grateful to have such fantastic memories of Christmas and to have been able to share my childhood experiences with my son. We have a new reality now, and I feel it is fitting that the tradition has changed, as it would not have been the same without my mum. She was central to the old one. I am also grateful that I still get to celebrate Christmas and that I get to do it with my family.

I have been searching for pics of Christmases past and I noticed that I have very few. While I am disappointed, I also see it as a good thing. It means I am so present in the moment that I tend to forget about my phone. That is a very rare for me these days. Christmas is definitely an “All In” day for me.


Do you still follow the same rituals as you did as a child, or have you created new rituals and traditions for your family? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful Christmas! Be blessed.