Category: Motherhood

5 things I would change if I had to had to go back into time

I was looking at my skin in the mirror the other day and thanking God for the good genes that He has blessed me with.  Unfortunately, genetics is not enough to keep my skin looking good. It definitely lays a great foundation though! 🙂  I haven’t always looked after my skin. In fact, as with most things, I started my face care routine a little late in life. This got me thinking about some of the tweaks I would make if I could live my life over.
 
#1. Don’t forget your sunscreen!
As a kid, summer was my favourite time of year.  I spent many hours in the sun swimming and playing outside.  As an adult, I have spent many hours at the beach and driving in the sun.    I never ever applied sunscreen in all that time. Shock and Horror!   No doubt it’s the reason for the damage I see on my face today.   It would be a lot worse if I didn’t eventually heed the warnings out there about the dangers of sun exposure.  SPF50 is now my friend.  Remember…it’s never too late to start the habit either.  I know it sucks trying to find one that doesn’t leave you looking ghostly if you are a person of colour. It looks like the companies are getting better at it.   We live in hope I  guess.
#2. Don’t smoke
Let me start by saying that I LOVED smoking.  I loved the ritual of smoking.  I loved lighting the cigarette and taking that first deep pull on it.  I loved smoking while drinking coffee (my other vice) or after a good meal in particular.   Yip…you get it…I LOVED smoking.  The thing is though, if I had never started, I would never have known what I was missing out on.  It’s been almost 5 years since I stopped and I will never go back.  Stopping was not easy and brought on a host of other issues so nope…I am not going to start once more.  I have no desire to go through that drama again.  This leads me to #3…
#3. Be an exercise junky!
Here’s the thing…once my life as a student ended, I became quite sedentary.  I also had a car so walking hectically long distances was no longer necessary.  Initially, the weight crept on.  You could still find me dancing the night away in the club over the weekends. The impact of having a car was negligible.  I stopped clubbing.  Well…that’s when the problem really started. The weight started creeping on faster and faster.  I was in denial.   I had been thin my entire life.  “This can’t be happening to me”.  I did nothing.  Then…I had a baby.  The weight piled on.  Only then did it twig that I better get my A into G and move.  I lost some.  I gave up smoking…sigh.  I gained loads more than I had lost!   Yip…Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho it’s off the gym I go.  I’ve got this!  This war I will win.  An exercise junky I will become!
 
#4. Take more risks
Those of you that know me, know that I can be quite scared of my own shadow at times.  I have probably missed out on a lot of opportunities in various areas of my life because taking a risk scared me.  There are times when I see my son been afraid of taking risks. My heart breaks because I know that he is missing out on something exciting that he will actually enjoy.   Sometimes he surprises me and faces his fears head-on.  That’s when he inspires me to face mine 🙂 
#5.  Fail more often
One of the reasons I didn’t take more risks when I was younger was because I feared failure.  I was soooo embarrassed to fail.  I am also a control freak.  The problem with taking a risk is that you don’t know how things will turn out.  Being in control has kept me feeling safe.  Life is short though and safe has become boring so my new life rules have become:
  • “I won’t get if I don’t ask”
  • “I won’t learn if I don’t try”
  • “I can’t win it if I’m not in it”
This is the tip of the iceberg for me.  Striving to give my son a great life experience has forced me to question my beliefs. I often have to unlearn things so that I can relearn them, especially through his eyes.  The world becomes a marvellous place again when looked at through the eyes of a child.
I leave you with an African Proverb …
#africanproverb #groundedafrican #african #blog #learning #life #quotescreator
Photographer: M. Frankson Venue: Kenneth Stainbank Nature Reserve, Durban

 

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Quality time with my little human

Holidays…what a pleasure!  It’s been a week and I have to say the time I have spent chilling with my little man has been priceless!  Not only have we been out and about spending time with family and friends but we have also been just been enjoying each other’s company.

This time with him has given me the opportunity to really “see” him and pay attention to the person he is becoming.  I must admit that I am blown away but what I see.  I see a big boy who is evolving into an impressive young man.  Of course I am biased but, at the same time, I definitely see lots to be proud of.

If I look back at the year past, he really got to grips with the concept of self motivation. He embraced affirmations and, on New Year’s Eve, was very keen to participate in a Law of Attraction exercise. He listed the things he wanted to let go of and the things he wanted to achieve or change in 2018. In a nutshell, he has matured a lot.

He has such a sense of humour as well. We were actually just chatting about the year ahead and the importance of discipline and focus.  When we were done, I hug him and tell him that I love and him and that I want him to prosper. His response, in his driest tone,..”like Absa”.  I laughed so hard.  (Absa is the name of a bank in SA that promises to help you prosper).  He hits me with these deadpan jokes of his when I least expect it. Cracks me up everytime.

This time has also been spent reconnecting with old friends and with family. My dad came to see in my birthday with me. We spent the evening playing monopoly. We all had such a blast that we completely lost track of time that night. Another of my favourite moments was driving down to the farm with my son. It’s about a 2 hour drive one way. The scenery is amazing. We had lunch with my aunts and their families. Lots of laughter was shared as well as great food. The time spent with them was so worth the drive.

Unfortunately, it’s time to return to school and work. 😔 I return feeling grounded. Centered. Clear on how I want to spend my year. I probably could have done with another week of rest but it’s ok. Some rest is better than none.😁 I hope that you have had the opportunity to rest as well this festive season. We forget how important it is to look after ourselves so that we have the energy to keep grinding and looking after our loved ones.

I’ll leave you with another African proverb I found…#africanproverb #groundedafrican #african #life #motherhood

You are more than your reflection in the mirror

I was at the mall this evening and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror.  My first reaction was a sinking heart.  I haven’t gotten around to dyeing my grey hairs and, to my eye, it just made me look way older than I would have liked.  I walked around the mall with a heavy heart about the way I looked.  As I drove home though, it dawned on me how silly I was being.

Well, of course,  I look older.  I am a month shy of my 45th birthday after all.  I have almost 45 years of living under my belt.  Not existing…living!  I have loved, I have lost, I have laughed, I have cried. I have travelled and I have spent many days in my little space on earth called home.  I have known a level hardship and I have known abundance.  I have worked my butt off for all that I have and I am proud of it all.  I have carried and borne a child. I have raised him almost single-handledly for 7 of his 9 years.  Dammit, I have earned my grey hairs!  In fact, I am blessed to have them. I am enough grey hairs included 🙂

It made me question why I have allowed this growing culture of superficiality to rule my perception of myself?  The funny thing is that, as a general rule, I do not follow people on social media whose pages are filled with pics of themselves only.  I believe that we all have a depth to us and that is what makes us interesting.  Having to scroll past pictures of people’s faces only is boring to me.  I want to know about the person behind the face.  I want to know what makes them tick.  What experiences have etched that line or that scar on their face?  What experiences have they had that I or anyone else can learn from.  Every experience has a lesson in it.  In fact, did you know that Human Libraries are popping up all over the world? You can find a link to a website about it here. South Africa is a melting pot of cultures and challenges. Can you imagine the rich stories waiting to be told?

#Life #Lifelessons #Blog #groundedafrican #teacher #mirrorimages #dontjudgeabookbyitscover

“I am because we are”.  “It takes a village to raise a child”. These sayings have always been the heart of African culture.  They are still true today and always will be.   The reality is that children learn from what they see, what they hear and what they experience.  We all do.   If we are spending all our time admiring ourselves in a cell phone and a mirror, we are teaching children that that’s ok.  If that’s all we post then we are probably teaching our children that that is the way to define themselves.  That feels very shallow to me and I feel that it sets them up for a fall especially as they get older.  It also opens them up to a whole host of other problems as well but that is a topic for another day.   If wisdom is gained through life experience, and all they know is based on what people look like, what type of world are we creating for future generations?

Have you ever noticed how the most revered actors and actresses are known for their abilities and consistent accomplishments and not for their looks.  Have you noticed how they come across as attractive/sexy even though they don’t fall into the category of “classically beautiful/sexy”?  I mention them because we are so focused on the entertainment industry these days and hold people up for their looks and not their talent.  Often they are “flash in the pan celebs” and fade away because they had no talent to carry them through.  I would imagine it is more rewarding to be known for your achievements than just because you are good-looking. After all, looks do fade eventually.

At the end of the day, we have become so obsessed with our looks that we have forgotten that we have so much more to offer the world.  Here’s to embracing our physical selves for what it is.  There is no harm in wanting to look good in fact it is good for you to be happy with what you see in the mirror, however,  being obsessed with your looks and defining yourself by your looks can only lead to problems down the road.  After all even beauty queens know that a national or international competition is merely a stepping stone to making the right the connections to do what that really want to do.  Even they need to have substance and not just be a pretty face to win.  When last have you heard of a Miss South Africa that didn’t have a degree?

So here’s to growing older gracefully.  To focusing on making ourselves better and this world a better place for future generations.  To sharing and celebrating our knowledge and experiences so that that others may benefit and grow from them.  Most importantly, here’s to being treasured for the positive touches we leave on the people around us and not only for what we look like.🥂

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Bye for now!