Hello There! Wow, we are halfway through December, and there are only 10 days to Christmas. I have to keep reminding myself to be more mindful of every day so that I make every day count in some way.
One Thing I am Grateful For
I am halfway through season one of “Bad Sisters” on Apple TV. Watching the sisters’ relationship reminds me of my relationship with my baby sister and cousin, who I consider a sister. I can talk to them about anything, and they will always have my back. I used to worry that my son would never really have that as an only child, but I see the relationship he has with his brothers and cousins, and I know that they will always watch out for him. I am so grateful that we both have family we can count on.
My Sister and I
A Moment of Joy
I had forgotten that it was Sunday, so when my dad called at his usual time, it was a wonderful surprise. He calls every Sunday. It’s a tradition he started when my son was about two years old, and he continues to this day. He does it for all his grandchildren. My son and I have always looked forward to those calls.
That’s it for today. I hope you have had an awesome Sunday.
I know right! Where has the year gone? On the bright side, it means we still have 95 days left (at the time of writing this) to achieve the goals we set for 2024. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s enough time to close off what you have started, at least.
I have been reviewing my year thus far and I have to say that it hasn’t been too bad of a year. 2024 is my year of Less. Most importantly for me, I needed to declutter my home. I am thrilled to say that I am about 70% of the way there. My kitchen countertops are clear. My dining room area is clear (most days at least. What is it about table tops that attracts life’s bits and bobs? 🤷🏽♀️) My lounge is looking neater and I finally figured out how to keep all the electrical cords out of site. I hate to say it but I do need to get rid of some of my books as I am never going to read them all. The sight of them overwhelms me sometimes. Next in line: my wardrobes.
Tough love is Tough!
Raising a teen is a challenge like no other. This past school term has been a push to get my son’s marks up. I think he forgot what he is capable of. I had to set strict boundaries to get him focused throughout the term. The hardest part of tough love is the toll it takes on the person giving it. I have always hated saying no to my son, but I also accepted that there were times when no was the only answer. This term was a term of an almost constant stream of “no”. It broke my heart to have to do it and to see the frustration and disappointment in his eyes. At the end of the day, it was all worth it, and even he couldn’t believe some of the marks he achieved. He was so thrilled that he couldn’t wait to get to the car with his report, so he called me and told me about his marks as he walked the few 100m to the car. I was so happy for him and very relieved that his hard work had paid off.
Working and Learning
At work, I have learned to look at things with a marketer’s eyes. Letting go of my technical mindset and methods for doing things has been tough. I am not there yet but I am grateful for the opportunity to grow in this manner. The one thing I have also had to learn is that, even though I am changing the way I look at things or articulate them, I must not doubt my instincts. It is so easy to doubt yourself when learning something new.
Tea is my New Best Friend
My health has been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride this year. I have finally lost most of the weight I had gained this year. My blood sugar is getting back to a good space. My cholesterol has been looking good, but my blood pressure has suddenly jumped up this year. Thankfully, it was almost back to normal this week, but I will keep monitoring it. I have reduced my caffeine intake as a start and am enjoying trying out new caffeine-free teas. Right now I am alternating between rooibos, rose petal and vanilla tea, chamomile tea and ginger tea. The rose tea and chamomile tea are definitely smoother, so I have them at night or when I feel stressed. The rooibos is more earthy in flavour and it seems to also curb my snacking habit. I need to monitor this a bit more to see if it really is helping. Ginger is supposed to aid digestion so I drink it after a meal.
6 Years into my New Reality – an Update
Lastly, this week, it was six years since my mum crossed over. Looking back, I am amazed at how much I have changed since it happened:
I am no longer drawn to articles and books on how to grow my confidence. I am a whole lot more confident in myself.
I am more aware of my strengths, and I spend my time trying to grow them. Right now I am drawn to mental models and strategic thinking.
I have clearer boundaries in most areas of my life.
My faith has grown stronger. I find it easier to let go of people and things that do not positively serve me or my son.
Most importantly, I know who I am.
I still struggle with committing to/focusing on one thing, but I am aware of it which is a step in the right direction. As Dr Phil says, “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”. I will continue to chip away at this block until it is no more.
Cheers to the end of another successful quarter! Photograph: Author’s own
So, it’s 88 days to Christmas. I must admit that I have started eyeing new Christmas ornaments in the stores even though I know I have too many already. Note to self, though: It is your year of less. Walk away from the ornaments!😅
How is your 2024 going? What are you most proud of? Do you still have goals that you want to achieve before this year is through? Let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from you.
What a question! I know I shouldn’t complain because it’s such negative energy but I do and I do it for several reasons. Sometimes it is out irritation with someone. Sometimes it is because I am feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes it’s out of irritation with myself and sometimes I just need to vent. I must admit though, while I am complaining, I am either physically rectifying the situation or I am thinking of ways to rectify the situation if possible.
I try hard not to whine though. I find that most annoying. People seem to do it when they want to behave like victims. I must admit that I have very little patience for the victim mindset. I am a firm believe of accepting what is, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward. Swiftly. I don’t see the point of getting stuck in a victim mentality. Not that I can’t empathise with it. We need to wallow in an issue initially to feel the pain so that we can acknowledge it and move on but getting stuck in wallowing helps no-one and that’s when I start losing my patience.
That being said, I did get really stuck in that whining phase after a break up with a boyfriend. I whined so much I irritated myself. Not my proudest moment and hats off to my friends for all sticking around to listen to me. I also have a friend who whined constantly and one day I asked her to take a moment and replay the last few minutes of our conversation in her head. I asked her what she heard. To her credit, she immediately said: “I sound like a victim.” She is a very strong woman and takes pride in that fact so you can imagine her shock and horror to discover that she had allowed herself to be a victim in a particular on-going situation. She has stopped complaining about that topic since then and is a more mindful of how she speaks about the things that upset her. Her energy has changed and she is taking control of her life. It is such a pleasure to witness.
So what is it that I complain about the most? According to my son, the state of our house when it needs to be tidied, not being able to find things in their usual spot (it drives me batty!) and my job (which would have been my first answer🤪)
Grounded African 