“letting go is not giving up; it is the graceful walk between continuing to put effort into making our preferred reality come true and not allowing our happiness to be controlled by something we do not have.”Yung Pueblo (Inward)
Holy Macaroni! It’s 31 days to a new decade you guys!!! How is that even possible? I have just been through the what felt like the longest week of my life and today I wake up to realise that not only is the year almost over but a whole decade! I have to say though that this has been a decade I can look back on with a sense of pride. I have definitely come a loooong way.
Last decade this time, I was at home, recovering from the shock of being a new mother, single, and in a city with no support system and, at the same time, I was still trying to adjust to my relatively new management role. The first year of being a manager is probably the hardest and I was not prepared for it mentally. My stress was affecting my one year old son and I just didn’t have the tools or the support system to get me through it all so I quit. I have no regrets though. My son needed me more at the time and I was fortunate that I could take that time out so that I could spend quality time with him and help him feel secure. When you don’t have to have to worry about the demands that a job places on you, you suddenly find that you have ample patience to help your little one discover the world. It was an amazing time in my life and I am very grateful for the opportunity to share it with my munchkin.
I eventually got bored and the money started to run out and I had no plan for myself. I just knew that I needed to get back to work and I felt a little more in control of who I was. I was fortunately that an old role that I had had become available. It was a demotion but that was fine. I was not ready to put myself through the drama of management again. I wanted to be able to work and have the space to enjoy watching and guiding my son through these really important years in his life. There would be time enough for a career later. What a journey it has been! I have had the privilege of adding to my lists of cities of the world visited. London, Liverpool, Stuttgart, Accra, Shanghai, Dubai. I found my passion, namely consumer research. I enjoy it so much that enrolled for a BA in Psychology and Anthropology. I will complete this in 2020. Funny that in 2010 I was awarded my BCom in Marketing Management and in 2020 it will be my BA. My BCom I did because I had to but my BA I did because I wanted to. I definitely enjoyed my BA more.
I have been able to buy a home for my son and I and all out of my own pocket as I have only received maintenance for my son for 7 months in total over these 10 years. This experience has taught me that God always has my back. I must never rely on people to fulfill my needs, especially financially, I need to put my trust in God and what I need will be made available as I need it. When I fell pregnant, my best friend had said to me that I must never worry about money for my son. The money will come as and when I need it and she was right. She has always had extremely strong faith in God and I never understood it but now I do and I am grateful that God has surrounded me with His most faithful servants as they have been like my earthly angels. I am thankful for His grace as we would not have all we have and have done all we have done if were not for His grace. Thank you Father.
In addition to my growth, my son has grown physically and as a person. He started out the decade knee-high to his mum and finishes it at chin height (Aaargh! he is growing so fast!) This week he gave the welcome speech at his school’s awards days for the 1st time. He spoke so well. I was bursting with pride!
In a nutshell, through this decade, I have grown and I can definitely say that I am in no way in the same place I was a decade ago physically, spiritually and emotionally. I entered this decade living from day to day with no clear vision of what I wanted for myself or who I was or wanted to be. I leave this decade with a very clear vision and plan for my life. I have learned so many lessons and most importantly, I have learned the power of faith. I am so excited about the coming decade because now I know that everything I want is on the other side of faith and hard work. What I seek seeks me. I don’t need to fight for anything. I need to:
- be clear about my request/intention,
- believe I will receive it,
- display active faith,
and that which was always intended for me will come when I least expect it. It doesn’t matter what it is. It can be love, money, a trip, or even something mundane as a new pen. What I seek seeks me. I find that thought so comforting.
Another very important lesson I have finally learned this decade is to have boundaries with the people I love. One of three things will happen:
- they will value our relationship enough to understand and respect my boundaries because they are a part of my “lifetime” people, my tribe; or
- they will not value our relationship and walk away, in which case it just means that their “reason/season” in my life and, mine in theirs, has come to an end; or
- they will not value our relationship initially and walk away because they need to discover their own boundaries, but they will come back because they are also part of my “lifetime” people, my tribe.
Eventually I learnt to accept that the ones that didn’t come back were not a loss by any means. They were just never meant to be a part of my the rest of my journey. Space also needs to made for those that are. Thank you to all who have passed through my life and to especially to all those who have chosen to stay. I look forward to an even better 2020 and beyond with you. Love you loads.
So, 2020 and beyond…I am so excited to welcome you! I will once again spend each day of December being grateful for one thing everyday. This really allowed me to step into 2019 with high energy and an expectation of a good year and I was not disappointed. I hope that you will join me in sharing the things you are grateful for each day in December. You won’t regret it.
I would love to hear about the changes that have happened in your life and about the lessons you have learned. Thanks for reading this post. Please like and share if you enjoyed it.