31 Days of Gratitude- Day 20

5 days to Christmas! Well 4 days and less than an hour for me 😊. I am so excited! It doesn’t matter how bitter sweet Christmas becomes over time as we lose loved ones, it’s still Christmas and it’s still magical and, I speak for myself when I say that I can’t help but be excited anyway.

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It just struck me a few moments ago that I have actually achieved all my childhood dreams already. The one thing I have learnt is that I needed to be more specific about certain details but now that I know better, I can dream bigger and in more detail so that the future will be even better. I left out most of the details when I was younger because I thought I wasn’t worthy of them but now I know that I am so my dreams have definitely improved in terms of their quality …lol. Thank you God for making my dreams a reality. 🙏🙏

I also discovered that I did qualify for a supplementary exam for one of my subjects. So I have passed 3. I have failed 1. I have disputed 1 and am not ready to count it as a failure and, I have one supplementary exam. It’s been a long year and I am not unhappy with my result. Looks like I have to wait one more year before I can graduate but that’s ok. The fact that I can afford to study is a blessing in itself. I would go crazy if I wasn’t constantly learning something new. The thing I am most grateful for is that I passed the most expensive subject! I would not have forgiven myself if I had to pay for that subject again. Phew!

A 20 year old bitter sweet dream that came true

There is only one dream that really stands out in my mind. Strangely enough I had been thinking of it lately and then today’s prompt popped up about a dream I remember. I found most of this dream distressing yet I was at peace by the time I woke. The peace that I felt at the end is a feeling that I go back to time and time again when I need to feel safe. An even crazier thought is that the dream was almost prophetic.

The Dream

I don’t remember all the details of this dream as I had it about 20 years. The parts I do remember is that my sisters and I were chilling on the verandah (porch) of my mum’s house. My older sister’s 2 children were with us. There were about 2 and 8 years old at the time. Suddenly dark clouds started gathering rapidly and a vicious storm broke. For whatever reason, my niece and nephew ran off and my older and younger sister ran after them. I stayed with my baby sister who was barely a teen at the time. We were both terrified for them. My parents were not home. My two sisters and my niece and nephew disapppeared from our sight. We had no idea what to do. The rain lashed at the house. Lightening flashed. Thunder crashed. It looked and sounded like God was very angry at the world that day. There was nothing we could do so I turned to take my baby sister inside. Suddenly I noticed the door to a room on the side of our house that I never knew was there. I couldn’t understand it. I tried the handle. The door opened.

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To my surprise, there stood my late Granny Molly. My dad’s mum. She stood next to a single bed and was folding clothes. (One of my fondest memories of her from when I was a kid was when she spent some time at our home and she would make us fold the laundry while she told us stories of her childhood so I guess that is why she was folding laundry in my dream.) She looked absolutely serene and beautiful. She did not say a word. She just smiled at me and it was at the moment that I knew that everything would be ok. I felt such a sense of peace come over me. I can’t explain it. I immediately woke up still feeling that sense of peace and knew that no matter what, my gran was watching over us all and all will be well in the end.

The strangest thing is that, and it only struck me this past week, those two sisters and the kids have gone their separate ways since my mum has passed. My mum’s death was pretty sudden, much like the storm. My baby sister and I did not see the split coming and initially were competely thrown. We have since made peace with it and have moved on with our lives as we don’t have any choice. It what it is and, ultimately, all will be well. When I feel disturbed by it or anything actually, I go back to the memory of seeing my gran and the sense of peace she gave me. She watches over them as she watches over my baby sister and I. And now we have my mum watching over us and walking with us as well.

It was a crazy dream then but the emotions it stirred in me, ensured that it will always stay with me. The fact that life has played out in much the same way that the dream did actually blows my mind. I truly do believe that my gran still watches over me and has actually surprised me around her birthday for the past 3 years. Perhaps she has done it more often than that and I have only become aware of it because of the gratitude challenge that I do every December. Get this…about 2 years ago, on the the 12th of the 12th, at around 12pm I stepped up to the till at a store with a pair of jeans for my son. The size was for age 12. There was no price tag on the jeans and the lady and her manager could not find it on the system so they gave it to me for free! My gran’s birthday is the 12/12.😊 How cool is that!!!! I chose to believe it was her doing something special for my son and I on her birthday.

Thank you for reading my story.

Quotes To Live By: Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Image: Canva
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