Tag: #groundedafrican

Reflections #2 – Time Will pass anyway

Today Facebook reminded me of a 10 year old post. I was celebrating having enrolled for my BA in psychology and anthropology. Everyone thought I was mad. Today I am counting down the weeks to graduation day for my BA Honours in psychology.

It was a reminder that the time will fly by anyway. Time’s passing is out of my control but what is in my control is how I use it. Sometimes our dreams and goals seem so far away and we give up because we think it will take too long to achieve. The reality is that the time is going to pass anyway so go out and do that you have always wanted to do. One day you will look back and realise who much you maximised your time on this earth instead of wasting it in fear of “how long a dream or goal will take to achieve”.

Haven you ever chosen to do something even though it would take you what seemed like forever?

That’s for popping be. Be blessed.

Reflections #1 – Authority

Allowing others to dictate to me in areas where I am the expert weakens my authority.

Photo by Keegan Houser on Pexels.com

Last week, I had an experience where the outcome of a presentation was not received in the way I had expected it to be. I was pretty devastated, even though I am conscious of the fact that I never have total control of the outcome. In hindsight, there were a number of reasons for this. One of the key reasons is that I allowed my superiors to dictate the methodology to me even though they are not experts in my field. The minute I did this, I weakened my authority as an expert in my field.

The realisation was a wake-up call. I began to reflect on all the other situations where I was uncomfortable with the outcome. I realised that I had done it in those situations as well.

Next, I asked myself how I can take back my authority because I have allowed this to go on for too long. I have arrived at two courses of action for myself:

  1. Seniority does not equal authority in all aspects. I must ask more and better questions to understand the stakeholder’s needs and expected outcomes to confidently design the correct study to deliver the result and not let them dictate how to do it. They honestly don’t know.
  2. I need to work on my self-belief to truly take ownership of my area of expertise.
  3. I must remind myself that failure is not the end of the world. There is a lesson in it. Learn from it and move on. Do not fear it.

Reflecting on what happened has really helped me get to grips with how to prevent this type of thing in the future.

Have you found yourself in a similar predicament? What did you do to overcome it?

Thanks for popping by. Be blessed.

To Complain or Not to Complain…

Bloganuary writing prompt
What do you complain about the most?
View all responses

What a question! I know I shouldn’t complain because it’s such negative energy but I do and I do it for several reasons. Sometimes it is out irritation with someone. Sometimes it is because I am feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes it’s out of irritation with myself and sometimes I just need to vent. I must admit though, while I am complaining, I am either physically rectifying the situation or I am thinking of ways to rectify the situation if possible. 

I try hard not to whine though. I find that most annoying. People seem to do it when they want to behave like victims. I must admit that I have very little patience for the victim mindset. I am a firm believe of accepting what is, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward. Swiftly. I don’t see the point of getting stuck in a victim mentality. Not that I can’t empathise with it. We need to wallow in an issue initially to feel the pain so that we can acknowledge it and move on but getting stuck in wallowing helps no-one and that’s when I start losing my patience.

That being said, I did get really stuck in that whining phase after a break up with a boyfriend. I whined so much I irritated myself. Not my proudest moment and hats off to my friends for all sticking around to listen to me. I also have a friend who whined constantly and one day I asked her to take a moment and replay the last few minutes of our conversation in her head. I asked her what she heard. To her credit, she immediately said: “I sound like a victim.” She is a very strong woman and takes pride in that fact so you can imagine her shock and horror to discover that she had allowed herself to be a victim in a particular on-going situation. She has stopped complaining about that topic since then and is a more mindful of how she speaks about the things that upset her. Her energy has changed and she is taking control of her life. It is such a pleasure to witness.

So what is it that I complain about the most? According to my son, the state of our house when it needs to be tidied, not being able to find things in their usual spot (it drives me batty!) and my job (which would have been my first answer🤪)

What do you complain about? 

Thanks for popping by. Be Blessed.