Comfort zones are overated

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”

Paulo Coelho

I don’t know about you but I am not one for New Year’s resolutions. I stopped making them a few years ago when I realised that I will make the necessary changes when I am ready to and not just at the beginning of the year. Every day is a new day and a new opportunity to do or become something different if I so choose. Change requires stepping out of your comfort zone and there in lies the problem. Fortunately I have found myself doing it more and more often of late and it is actually exciting. It’s scary but definitely exciting.

One of the last times I stepped out of my comfort zone was last year when I made the choice to surrender to guidance rather than try to control everything in my life. I had read the book ‘The Surrender Experiment’ by Michael A Singer and his experience just made total sense to me. The quote below from the book really grabbed my attention and I really wanted to find out what if I could do the same.

Image: Readwise

This has not been an easy journey thus far but it been pretty cool as the same time. I am more open to doing things that would never have done before especially at work. I have followed my instincts which has led to me feeling more at peace because I know that I am being guided. The outcomes have generally been better than expected. New opportunities have popped up which I am looking forward to experiencing.

It is pretty cool to see how free will comes into play. We always have choices and by allowing myself to be guided, I am not giving up my free will but using my free will to make the choice. I never ever understood that before. I thought that by saying “Lord, your will not mine” I was giving up my free will and that scared the day lights out of me. Thankfully, now I know better.

I have also made a few errors in choices because I wasn’t paying attention to my instincts, especially of late. As a result, I have seen doors closing but to be honest, the closed doors have actually being a relief. It actually feels like by closing the doors, the Universe is “recalculating” my route to my desired destination. It’s pretty awesome!

So yes, I have stepped out of my comfort zone of controlling everything and it feels scary but awesome. My hands are open to release what needs to leave and accept what is meant for me. Life is for the living after all. I highly recommend this journey especially if you are feeling ‘stuck’ in your life. It’s quite a ride😁


Our Cruise was Cancelled. Now what?

I had planned to see out my last birthday in my 40’s over the Indian Ocean. I had booked a cruise to nowhere for my son and I but covid killed those plans. The cruise was cancelled. I still feel an urge to do something different though I think I feel a road trip coming on…

My Ideal Road trip

Phew, I would probaly need to break it down into about 3 or 4 trips to see everything I would love to see with my son. Where to start…hmmm…probably the garden route which runs through the Eastern Cape Coast and ends in the Western Cape. I would probably make it a 2 week long trip so that we can sleep over in numerous towns and have the opportunity to explore some of the towns along the way. There are a number of museums like the literary museum in Makhado (ex-Grahamstown) and we can take a day trip to at least one game reserve. I have yet to visit the Cango Caves (it would require a slight detour) or Koffee Bay which is said to be very beautiful. And of course stop at Cape Agulhas which is the home of the southernmost point of Africa. If you keen to explore the route further, I found this website that has lots of great information

Cape Agulhas
The Cango Caves

A road trip closer to home

I live in beautiful Durban and am fortunate that I am only a 2-3 hour drive fron the Drakensberg mountains and have the beach on my doorstep. The Midlands Meander is a wonderful trip to make and it starts in Hilton which is an hour away. It is dotted with a number of little industries and shops. You can find anything on the route from breweries to cheese making to arts and crafts. There are awesome hiking trails and other adventure-based activities. Gourmet food is also pretty easy to find. There is the Fernhill Hotel as an example, which also happens to be a training school for chefs. One of my favourite spots to visit is the Nelson Mandela capture site. Taking ‘the long walk to freedom’ is an awesome experience. Whenever I have been there, the air has been still and there is absolute silence. It ‘s a humbling experience. The sculpture also just blows my mind and there is also a museum on site.

My dad and my son doing the long walk to freedom in 2013
My son and I in front of the Nelson Mandela sculpture in 2013.

If there is one good thing that the pandemic has created, it is an awareness of all the places there are to visit and explore right on our doorsteps. I love road trips so I am definitely going to plan one. I actually can’t wait!

What are some of your favourite spots in South Africa or in the country in which you live? I would love to hear to about them and possibly add them to my bucket list😊

Thanks for reading. Stay safe!

2021 Was An Insightful Year

If you reading this then well done, like me, you have made it to 2022! I don’t know what your expectations are but for me, it’s gonna be my best year yet. I know this because I won’t be making the same mistakes I have made for most of my life. I finally know better so that I can do better. In fact, if I could go back in time, this would be the advice I would give to my teenage self so that it wouldn’t me so long to get to this place 😊:

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

Lesson #1: Ask the ‘stupid questions’

You have always been afraid that if you ask, what you believe might be, a ‘stupid question’, people would think you were an idiot. You have always thought that you needed to know everything in order for people to respect you or trust you. The reality is that you will never know everything and it’s ok to ask questions because you don’t know. Lesson #1: Nobody expects you to have all the answers. Ask the ‘stupid questions’.

Lesson #2: Trust your inner voice

You are insightful. You are constantly gathering information through the books that you read, the people that you talk to and observe. You will find that you connect dots that others will not because they don’t see what you see. Trust that picture that you see that no one else sees. Those pictures will add value to everything you do and every team you work in. Lesson #2: You are insightful so trust your inner voice. Your instincts are not wrong even if others can’t see what you see.

Lesson #3: Work on becoming the person you need to be in order to attract the things you desire

You know what you want but you have no idea how to get it. Partly because you are scared to ask and partly because, although you know that you that need to grow in skills in order to achieve your dreams, you don’t understand that there is more to it than that. Skills alone will not get you were you want to be, you have to change the way you think as well. You have to evolve as a person. The person who is living the dream in the future will need to be different to the person you are today. This is a tough one to explain so I am really just planting the seed here. You will need mentors to help you along this path. Be open to them. Lesson #3: Work on becoming the person you need to be in order to attract the things you desire

Lesson 4: You never have control over the outcome and that’s ok

Phew, this is toughie for your control freak self but I promise you, control of the outcome is an illusion. That’s the part you must always leave to God and He will always, and yes I mean ALWAYS, have your back. Sometimes the outcome will dissapoint you because it didn’t go the way you hoped but those are times when the real outcome is still in the works and will be waaaay better than you ever managed. You will always have control over the amount of effort you put in but the outcome is never actually in your hands. Put every ounce of effort and love into everything that you do anyway. Lesson 4: You never have control over the outcome and that’s ok

Lesson 5: You are perfect as you are

This is THE most important lesson. You, yes skinny, knobby kneed, clutzy, nerdy you are absolutely perfect as you are. You are beautiful inside and out. Love yourself. You deserve it. No one expects you to be anyone other than you. The people who truly love you, do so because you are you. Understand that some people will project their own issues on to you but know that nothing that they blame you for is actually your fault. They need to work on their own issues. Your job is you and your number 1 job is loving you and nourishing your spirit. Lesson 5: You are perfect as you are.

These lessons are just the tip of the ice berg. I always have a lot more work to do on myself so I am sure there will be more advice and lessons coming through. Keep checking in if you found these helpful for you too. Thanks for your support. May your 2022 be your best year yet!

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