“You’re not defined by your past experiences. You’re prepared by them.”― Anthony Does

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

Oooh, that’s another good question that got me thinking. If you had asked me this question 16 or so years ago, it would definitely have been the past. I was so focused on what was left behind that I didn’t give much thought to the future. This had such a negative impact on my life.

I was such an angry and probably moody, depressed person because I wanted it all back, and, to be honest, I was terrified of looking forward. I didn’t know where to start rebuilding.

Then, through Oprah’s show, I discovered the power of now and the law of attraction, and I started focusing on the now and building the future. It’s a journey—one where I constantly have to be mindful of my thoughts.

Where I was once very judgemental and resentful, I now try to be positive and see the positive in others first. However, if my instincts tell me to steer clear of someone, I listen because some element of that person will do me more harm than good. Not deliberately, but they are to be treated as a ship passing in the night. I still have to master the art of seeing possibilities within problems, but at least I am conscious of it so I can keep working on it.

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The other benefit of anchoring in the now and looking forward is that I am always filled with faith and hope. The world seems brighter, and I feel lighter. It’s a much happier place to be. I still get disappointed when things take longer to fall into place than I would like, but I do know that it will eventually, so I don’t dwell on the disappointment. It also means I don’t dwell in anger either. Living in the now also means that you have to accept what is. So yes, I still get angry, but I can let go and move on once I have accepted what is.

An interesting lesson I have learned is that the past has a way of popping up when I enter a new phase in my life which requires me to make some changes. I become aware of experiences in the past that caused me to hold myself back in some way. This helps me figure out the changes I need to make within in order to become who I need to be to achieve my next goal. I don’t dwell on the past though. I sit with what comes up for as long as I need to understand the lesson and move on.

So, to answer the question, I spend more time in the now with the future firmly in my sights.

Thanks for popping in. Let me know in the comments where your focus lies and why.

 “Time is the most valuable thing that a man can spend.” — Diogenes

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

This a great question. I have been reading through many of the answers and am so fascinated that most writers have not mentioned material gifts. Instead, they have spoken about emotive gifts like time, love, respect and appreciation. Material gifts are always welcome for me, especially as a single woman. I most often have to spoil myself as there are not too many people thinking of spoiling me. That is not the greatest gift that someone could give me, though. Much like the gift I appreciate the most is time, but not just time, time for me when I need you to be available.

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I know it sounds a little odd, but it is borne out of my recent experience. I had made a new friend online, and we got on very well, or so I thought. The strangest thing was that I could never reach them when I wanted to chat. I could message them, and they would message me back as and when it suited them. Sometimes, it would be almost a day later. In the end, it got so bad that the only way to have a conversation with them was to wait until they messaged me and catch them mid-type. It was so weird, so as you can imagine, the friendship didn’t last. I never realised how important that was to me before. My long-time friends will always either respond immediately or as soon as they possibly can, so I have never had to think about it.  Our relationships are reciprocal. This was such a weird situation that I am still trying to wrap my head around it. The person did have control issues but this was control on another level.

The other special gift you can give me is to be yourself and accept me as I am. I get uncomfortable when someone tries to change me by judging me. There is a difference between trying to change someone into what you want them to be and trying to help someone grow. I am very open to the latter. The former is a no for me.

That’s it from me for today. Let me know what the greatest gift you would like to receive is.

“Life is more fun if you play games.” – Roald Dahl

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

Hello Hello! Hmmm…good question Bloganuary. I do play in my daily life. All work and no play makes Michelle a dull girl after all. Play takes several forms for me and which I choose depends on my frame of mind at the time.

  • Online Scrabble – I have been playing this for about 14 years. I love that it has a chat feature. I have made a good few friends over the years. Most are based in the UK. This is my go to game when I need a distraction. It’s not mindless and I am learning new words and strategies all the times.
  • Vegging in front of the TV – This is new for me. I am not a TV person, but I do have a few favourite programmes like Law & Order, Bosch, Reacher and Friends (my son and I can watch that show over and over again). My new favourites are the documentaries on Netflix. I really enjoyed the one on Arnold Schwarzenegger (phew, that took a few attempts to get the spelling right😅). I found it very inspiring. His story reminds us that anything is possible if you choose it to be and set your mind to it.
  • Reading – Books are my forever companions. A fully loaded Kindle and a solar-powered power bank would be a must if you were to leave me on a desert island. :).
  • Coffee with friends – I have very few friends, and they are worth more than their weight in gold. They help me see life from different perspectives and they soothe my soul.
  • Shopping - I looove shopping although I don’t shop as often as I used to and won’t be this since my word for the year is “less”. I enjoy the thrill of acquiring items of beauty for my home that will make me look good or even a new book. I can spend hours in a bookshop just browsing. I very seldom leave empty-handed, too. I must buy at least one book.
  • Spending time with my son – This always soothes my soul. He spends most of his time playing games these days, so I don’t get to spend as much time with him as I used to. As a result, I treasure the moments that I do get.

How do you define play? How do you play?

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