Category: Motherhood

Letters to my son: #1 You are enough

I read somewhere recently that as parents, we are mere shepherds whose role it is to guide our children while they are in our care. I hope these letters will help him navigate life and help him find the path that God intended for him to walk.

mother and son in shadow on the sand
Just the two of us


Dear Alex,
Throughout life, you will meet people and find yourself in situations that will make you question your worth and abilities, and sometimes, you will even question your sanity. Sadly, a lot of the time, they will be people that you love and thought you could respect.
They will pick on your appearance, on what you say, and on what you do. They will also try to use your beautiful golden brown skin against you. They will try to belittle you in every possible way.
Don’t let them. Stand tall in the knowledge that you are enough just as you are. Everything about you is unique and is to be celebrated. Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are. Don’t let this make you arrogant, though. Remain humble and grounded. You will accomplish so much more by doing this.
Marianne Williamson says in her book “A Year of Miracles”: “The perfect you isn’t something you need to create because God already created it.” Please always remember this. You are enough as you are.
This is one of my favourite passages from Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love. Let it help you when your confidence is low.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

All my love and then some more,

Mum ❤️

Sons Are the Anchors of a Mother’s Life – Sophocles

Bloganuary Day 16

Today’s Prompt: Describe the happiest day of your life

Today’s prompt is a no-brainer for me. The happiest day of my life was August 7th 2007. That was the day I found out I was pregnant. I used a home pregnancy kit and I remember it being a wednesday evening. I was in complete shock for a few seconds and then complete and utter joy swiftly overtook that shock! I was so excited I literally wanted to shout it from the roof top.

I lived alone and was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. I still had to have it confirmed by a dr but I new in my heart that was merely a formality. I spent that entire night planning on how I was I going make space for my child financially especially as I knew I was going to be a single mum from the get go. I hadn’t planned on falling pregnant but I felt so blessed by this wonderful surprise that God had gifted me with.

The next happiest day was the 7th Jan 2008 when I foound out he would be a boy and then of course, the day of his arrival was the 3rd happiest day of my life. I have been so fortunate that he has made motherhood a relatively easy going experience. We have had the usual ups and downs and thankfully we have come out of each episode stronger 😊🙏I am so blessed to call him my son.

My 💖
Just the two of us having some fun over the years

Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday I received the most beautiful bouquet of flowers from our team at work. It was a congratulatory gift for completing my BA degree. I was thrilled and very grateful for the gesture. It was only this afternoon that the thought occurred to me that I don’t give myself enough credit for my achievements. I need to acknowledge me more often and, more importantly God, for only through Him are all things possible.

My beautiful flowers

So I want to take this moment to acknowledge God for making it possible for me to complete my degree while I was:

  • Getting my head around a new role in which I had to relearn old skills and learn new skills all at the same time (I am still not where i need to be but I will get there)
  • Acting as chairperson in our body corporate for the last 2 years
  • Buying a new home and adjusting to a new relationship at the same time
  • Dealing with the end of that relationship, the loss of my mother and the break-up of my family all at the same
  • Giving my son and I the space to grieve together for the loss of my mum in particular
  • Adjusting to a diagnosis of diabetes and learning to live with it and how to overcome it
  • Working on healing and growing myself through the use of self-help and spiritual books
  • Working from home during the lockdown and trying to ensure that my son maintains a certain level of education all by myself. At the same time I did the Mind Power course. I also had to ensure that all the lockdown regulations were being followed in our complex and prepare for and write my exams. (I have to say that it was exhausting juggling everything and I still can’t believe that I passed my exams1 )
  • Supporting my son in all his sporting endeavors and making sure we maintain a good quality life and that he hardly ever feels neglected and just doing my best to be as good a parent as I know how to him.
  • Losing my favourite aunt almost exactly year after losing my mum. The whole experience was like losing my mum all over again.
  • I started writing and got my blog going and have written on other platforms like Medium an Quora. I have enjoyed this tremendously!
  • Fitting in assignments between travels to Dubai and China.
  • And of course, trying to be a good friend, sister, daughter, cousin, aunt and niece to those I love and have given me their support.

It’s been an amazing 6 years. Most of the stuff mentioned happened in the last 3 of the 6 years. So it’s been quite a ride! Phew! I deserve those flowers at the very least I think ..lol.

I am taking a break this semester and aim to start my honours in Psych next year. I am so excited about that! It will be my first honours degree! My end goal is a Phd in Psych and I have no doubt that I will achieve. It’s only a matter of time. God will go before me and make a way.

I have done this exercise for another reason as well. Listing your achievements helps to change your mindset from one of lack to one of abundance and success. The thinking is that you will remind yourself of what it feels like to be successful so that you continue to feel those feelings and draw more success to yourself. Nope, it’s not hogwash. I invite you to think back to a time when you were feeling really great about something. What other good things suddenly started happening to you? I can guarantee you that you received a welcome surprise while you were in that state. If you pay attention , you will find that these welcome surprises pop up when you are thrilled about something good that has happened in your life or are in a state of deep and authentic gratitude.

I encourage you to go ahead and list your achievements and all the things you had to overcome to get there. Remind yourself of what a successful person you already are, because you are!

Thanks for reading this piece. Covid19 is still a real threat so stay home and stay safe.