Tag: quotes

Mastering My Time: Overcoming FOMO and Distractions

I have always suffered from FOMO. It drives me insane. The invention of social media and the smartphone did not help my FOMO at all. It probably made it worse. I ended up spending up to 7 hours a day on my phone every day, and worse still, I had nothing to show for this addiction.

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

– Michael Altshuler

Goodbye Notifications

I was determined to take back control of my time, so I switched off my social media app notifications. I thought I would crumble without knowing what everyone else was posting. I used to check my phone anyway initially. Eventually, the lack of notifications meant a lack of distraction, and I would find myself getting caught up in whatever I was doing. I would still see the icon when I picked up my phone to respond to a message or a call, so I would still check the apps throughout the day, although less often.

Enter the App Library

Then Apple created the “App Library”. It was a game changer. Suddenly, all my apps were in my phone’s app library, and most couldn’t be seen. The apps I used most often were still most prominent, though, so my most often used social media apps were still visible when I accessed the library for something else, which prompted me to open them. Then Apple made it possible to hide them. I could set it so they were never prominent in the app library. What a pleasure! Now they were truly out of sight and therefore out of mind!

Apple App Library
Photo by Czapp u00c1rpu00e1d on Pexels.com

Discovering Focus Mode

What the App Library did was stop me from accessing my social media apps as often as I used to, but it didn’t stop me from constantly picking up my phone because of other notifications. I was still spending about 6 hours a day on my phone. Very alarming. I wasn’t sure how to change the habit until I accidentally activated Sleep Mode. I had set the amount of time I wanted to sleep every night and the time for my alarm, not realising that this automatically activated Sleep mode. Sleep mode sends a notification 45 minutes before my set bedtime to let me know it is wind-down time. This is when sleep mode automatically activates. I started noticing in the mornings that I have notifications that I had missed during the wind-down and sleep times I had set. After investigating, I discovered what I had done and was pleasantly surprised. I had completely forgotten about my phone until the next morning because I didn’t receive any notifications at all!

Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev on Pexels.com

I now have a work focus setting that activates as soon as I drive into our office parking lot. I also have a personal focus setting that activates when I get home, and of course, my sleep focus setting. My screen time has reduced to around 4 hours a day, which is way better than 7 hours a day. Each focus mode is set to allow calls and messages from family and close friends. I also allow “Intelligent Breakthrough” in some modes which allows priority messaging through.

Another benefit is that I no longer suffer from FOMO. I find that I only access my social media apps once or twice a day, often for work and not for personal use. I do still doom scroll about once a week just to chill, but I only really do it on Instagram. It’s my favourite social media app.

Just when I thought I was ready to be the master of focusing, we went back to the office full-time. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Now I just need to figure out how to shut people out while working in an open plan office…sigh. Please share any tricks or tips you might have.

That’s it from me today.  Thanks for popping by.   How do you control time spent on your cellphone. ?  Let me know in the comments

“Life is more fun if you play games.” – Roald Dahl

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

Hello Hello! Hmmm…good question Bloganuary. I do play in my daily life. All work and no play makes Michelle a dull girl after all. Play takes several forms for me and which I choose depends on my frame of mind at the time.

  • Online Scrabble – I have been playing this for about 14 years. I love that it has a chat feature. I have made a good few friends over the years. Most are based in the UK. This is my go to game when I need a distraction. It’s not mindless and I am learning new words and strategies all the times.
  • Vegging in front of the TV – This is new for me. I am not a TV person, but I do have a few favourite programmes like Law & Order, Bosch, Reacher and Friends (my son and I can watch that show over and over again). My new favourites are the documentaries on Netflix. I really enjoyed the one on Arnold Schwarzenegger (phew, that took a few attempts to get the spelling right😅). I found it very inspiring. His story reminds us that anything is possible if you choose it to be and set your mind to it.
  • Reading – Books are my forever companions. A fully loaded Kindle and a solar-powered power bank would be a must if you were to leave me on a desert island. :).
  • Coffee with friends – I have very few friends, and they are worth more than their weight in gold. They help me see life from different perspectives and they soothe my soul.
  • Shopping - I looove shopping although I don’t shop as often as I used to and won’t be this since my word for the year is “less”. I enjoy the thrill of acquiring items of beauty for my home that will make me look good or even a new book. I can spend hours in a bookshop just browsing. I very seldom leave empty-handed, too. I must buy at least one book.
  • Spending time with my son – This always soothes my soul. He spends most of his time playing games these days, so I don’t get to spend as much time with him as I used to. As a result, I treasure the moments that I do get.

How do you define play? How do you play?

Image: Canva

A month of gratitude 2023 – Day 9 – Closed doors

In this post I reflect on the importance of accepting change and its consequences. Every situation presents important life lessons. Accepting these lessons inspires growth and reveals new opportunities.

This morning I woke up to a new reality. I had a door close gently in my face yesterday. I had instigated the change though in my own way so it wasn’t a complete surprise. It was a reminder that if there is one thing that is constant in life, it’s change. We always have 2 choices: resist or accept the change. As always, each choice has consequences.

Accept the Consequences

In Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes writes: “Difficult conversations are something of a gamble and you have to be willing to be okay with the outcome. And you have to know, going in, where you draw the line. You have to know when in the conversation you are going to say no. You have to know when you are going to say, “That doesn’t work for me.” You have to know when to say, “I’m done.” You have to know when to say, “This isn’t worth it.” “You aren’t worth it.”.

Five years ago I lashed out at someone out of sheer frustration. It was a knee jerk reaction more than a difficult conversation as such and I wasn’t prepared for the consequences so I resisted the change. I was broken and spent many months trying to undo what I perceived as “the damage” at the time. I felt terribly guilty until I read “Year of Yes” and realised that all that happened was that I wasn’t prepared for the consequences in that moment. I had made the decision internally but I wasn’t ready to act on it yet. Do you know what I mean?

Yesterday I lashed out, out of frustration again and once again it caused a door to close. This time I was ready. This time I can walk away in peace. While I probably could have handled the situation better, I was prepared mentally for the possible fallout making it easier to accept. Once you accept anything you tend to have peace and new paths become visible. It’s easier to move on. It is also easier to deal with any pain or disappoint that might form part of the consequence.

Image: Canva

Experiences Always Come with Lessons

So, today I am grateful for closed doors and the opportunities and possibilities that they represent. Every situation and relationship also presents lessons. One of the lessons that was reinforced for me was that people will always let you know what they are available for upfront. Sometimes they can be a vague but ignore it at your own peril. In this case, I wasn’t surprised by the way the person showed up eventually, I was more frustrated with myself because I saw the red flag when they raised it but, being the psychology student that I am, I was curious so I continued down the garden path and ended up at the dead-end that I knew was coming.

“Hope is the thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it and to work for it and to fight for it.”

Barack Obama

So despite all the red flags, all that evidence to the contrary, I lived in hope but alas, it was not to be. It was a beautiful garden path though and I am grateful I got to see the sights and have the experience.

It’s Called a Blindspot for a Reason

Another lesson I learned is that blindspots are called that for a reason. Sometimes people just can’t see how they get in their own way. I have of course done this for 99% of my life and probably still do far too often. Sometimes people are just nestled so deeply in their comfort zones that they are not prepared to make themselves uncomfortable again in order to achieve a higher goal. They see it, they want it but not just bad enough to do what it takes to get it. They have loads of excuses and keep pushing the goal out to a date in the future. This was the first time I consciously watched this play out. It was fascinating.

What I also learned was that it is far easier to accept that they will not achieve their goal if you remain an observer and don’t get involved. You can plant seeds but you have to accept that most will fall on rocky ground. Advice is free and it does come from the advisor’s point of view so it’s not really surprising that most people tend to ignore someone else’s advice or insight. Speaking for myself, I do find though that there is always at least something to contemplate when someone shares their thoughts with me. I believe that God is always guiding and directing us through others so I always try to pay attention to the guidance I receive. Sadly, I will never get to find out if any of the seeds I planted landed on fertile soil as this person is in a completely different social circle. I have faith that they will figure things out when they are ready to though.

Well that’s it from me today. How often do you look for the lessons when something comes to an end? Does it change how you show up in anyway? I invite you to let me know in the comments