An interview with a Sock Elf

Me: Oh boy, oh boy, I am so excited to have ‘Fluffy’ (not his real name) the Sock Elf on my podcast today! Thank you all for joining us. Fluffy has agreed to let us in on the secret behind where our missing socks go hence the pseudonym. How cool is that! Thank you Fluffy and Welcome!

Fluffy: Thank you Michelle. It’s great to be here. As you know, no sock elf has ever revealed this secret before but I see the human’s distress and, even worse, I how the socks that get left behind are treated and my heart breaks for them.

Me: So tell me, how do you choose which socks to take and why?

Fluffy: Well, it depends on how the sock will be used in Elfville. Rule of thumb is to only take a sock that has been worn a few times.

Me: hmmm…well…sorry to interrupt you there, appears someone didn’t get that memo and took one of my brand new socks not so long ago. I was crushed!

Fluffy: I am terribly sorry to hear that. We will have to investigate. Anyway, as I was saying, the type and look of sock to be taken is dependant on the purpose it will serve.

Me: That brings me to my next question. How are they used by the Elf community?

Fluffy: I am so glad you asked!! There are so many fabulous things you can do with odd socks! That’s why I came on your show, I wanted to teach your listeners about the wonderful ways they can use sock that gets left behind. Let me give you a few examples:

• Mittens: I know that is bitterly cold in the northen hemisphere right now, so I would encourage wearing your odd socks as an extra layer under your mittens to keep your hands warm. They do keep ours nice and toasty. We elves use the smaller socks to keep our ear tips warm as well.
• Feet moisturisers – I love this one and you can do it all year round. We apply some vaseline to our feet or a nice thick cream and then put on our socks for soft smooth feet. We do it on our hands as well!
• Keep your game pieces safe: we keep all our buttons, gameboard pieces, etc in our socks. This also helps us use less plastic as we are not using plastic bags anymore
• Cleaning odd spots: we use socks to clean those odd spots like blinds.
• Toys: The kiddie elves love the sock puppets that we make. We keep them entertained for hours with those!
• Stinky shoes: our elf shoes are closed so it can get a bit cluncky in there if you know what I mean. We place some bicarbonate of soda in socks. Tie it up and place the sock in our shoe over night to absorb any odours.

Me: Wow! You guys really know socks! Thanks for the tips!

Fluffy: That is just the tip of the ice berg! We decorate our pot plants with socks and make colourful scarves and the like with them. Hmmm…Elfville should actually be called Sockville now that I think about it.

Me: Haha. There’s an idea. Thank you for coming on the show Fluffy. I don’t think I will ever look at an odd sock the same way again. I have to admit that I will always miss having a pair of socks coming out of every wash though.

Fluffy: Thanks again for having me. I know this doesn’t solve your initial problem but I hope that you and your audience will start having as much fun with your odd socks as we do! Bye!