Hello Hello. Well, there is just 30 hours (at the time of writing this) left in this year for me. I am actually so exhausted today. I suspect it’s from sheer relief that my son is home. We hold so much tension in our bodies sometimes and only realise it when the source of our tension goes away. Even though I slept very peacefully last night, I think I was still a bit keyed up. I suspect tonights sleep is going to be even better.
My son and I went out for lunch today and to get his Christmas present. They didn’t have stock so he has to wait a few more days. Initially he was a bit grumpy about it but I reminded him that it was not a “No” but a “Not yet”. His mood changed instantly. My son has an old soul and for this I am very grateful. His level of maturity makes it easier for me to parent him. I also learn a lot from him because he has more patience than me. He is a real blessing in every way.
I also want to take a moment today to say thank you for my baby sister and her husband who ensured that I was not alone this Christmas. I realised today that between them, the cats, my cousin as well as a few friends and of course, everyone who has taken the time to read my posts and comment, I probably would have been miserable this December. Thank you all for making the time to interact with me and for keeping me occupied. I am so very very grateful.
I forget sometimes that even though my son’s dad and I weren’t close at the time of his passing, I did still care about him and we had actually started to build a partnership this year in particular that allowed us to improve how we parented how son. Alex knew that we had each other’s backs when it came to him so he was feeling pretty secure. My heart is very sore that he is gone. I am going to miss his support and his drama (he was very dramatic sometimes…lol). I have been so worried about how I will support Alex through this that I had forgotten that I need to allow myself to grieve as well. I still haven’t even completely wrapped my head around the fact that he is no longer with us. Perhaps that is why I have not really grieved as well. One day at a time I guess. I think if everyone had not kept me so occupied, I probably would have dwelled on Warren’s passing and gotten depressed so thank you again to everyone. I am so grateful. 🙏🙏
That’s it for today. I hope you are enjoying your eve of New Year’s eve 😊. Have fun!