Tag: #perspective

“Life is more fun if you play games.” – Roald Dahl

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

Hello Hello! Hmmm…good question Bloganuary. I do play in my daily life. All work and no play makes Michelle a dull girl after all. Play takes several forms for me and which I choose depends on my frame of mind at the time.

  • Online Scrabble – I have been playing this for about 14 years. I love that it has a chat feature. I have made a good few friends over the years. Most are based in the UK. This is my go to game when I need a distraction. It’s not mindless and I am learning new words and strategies all the times.
  • Vegging in front of the TV – This is new for me. I am not a TV person, but I do have a few favourite programmes like Law & Order, Bosch, Reacher and Friends (my son and I can watch that show over and over again). My new favourites are the documentaries on Netflix. I really enjoyed the one on Arnold Schwarzenegger (phew, that took a few attempts to get the spelling right😅). I found it very inspiring. His story reminds us that anything is possible if you choose it to be and set your mind to it.
  • Reading – Books are my forever companions. A fully loaded Kindle and a solar-powered power bank would be a must if you were to leave me on a desert island. :).
  • Coffee with friends – I have very few friends, and they are worth more than their weight in gold. They help me see life from different perspectives and they soothe my soul.
  • Shopping - I looove shopping although I don’t shop as often as I used to and won’t be this since my word for the year is “less”. I enjoy the thrill of acquiring items of beauty for my home that will make me look good or even a new book. I can spend hours in a bookshop just browsing. I very seldom leave empty-handed, too. I must buy at least one book.
  • Spending time with my son – This always soothes my soul. He spends most of his time playing games these days, so I don’t get to spend as much time with him as I used to. As a result, I treasure the moments that I do get.

How do you define play? How do you play?

Image: Canva

Less

That’s my word for the year. I have been looking around me for the past few weeks, and all I see is stuff. My wardrobes and cupboards are overflowing. My inboxes are overflowing. My folders are overflowing. There is just too much “overflowing” going on around me.

Image: Canva

That is not the only reason I want to have less of everything. I want to have less because I want to focus on the things and people in my life that will bring me more. More enrichment, more growth, more enjoyment, more experiences, more fulfilment, more fun and more focus…I guess you get the picture.

I am very grateful that I have been blessed with the means to accumulate all that, but I have definitely lost my way. I have accumulated largely for the sake of accumulating things and because I can sometimes, though, my bank balance takes some strain. 

The issue with accumulating stuff, responsibilities and projects is that you can quickly lose sight of the things that are important to you. There are areas of my life that run me because of this lack of focus which is not on. It is time to take back the areas I can control, like my finances and my home, for example. I have spent so much time, money and effort into my education that I have let the maintenance of my home slip. I have allowed so many little things that need fixing to accumulate. I don’t know about you, but I also find it quite stressful when things don’t work correctly, so fixing it all will lead to less stress.

Clearing the clutter also adds energy to a space, or at least that is how it makes me feel. The same is true for clearing the mental and digital clutter. I feel rejuvenated and more alive when I step into a cleared space. I must admit that if I have done too good a job clearing a room, I feel a little lost in the space. 

There are two areas that I will find the most difficult to clear: my bookcases and my clothes. I will have to come to terms with the fact that there are quite a few of each that I have to release for someone else’s enjoyment. I may never get to read/wear them, and that’s okay.

This is just one of my bookcases that is screaming for help 😱

I have tried physically decluttering before, but the clutter has somehow found its way back. I have come to the conclusion that it’s because I didn’t have a “why” that resonated with me each time I did it. I just did it because, at that point, I was tired of the clutter and wanted a clear space. This time, I know why I want to do this, and I am clear on the benefits for me and my son. I am clear on how to restructure the space to achieve my desired benefits.

Transformation takes time. This has been my other downfall previously. I had lacked patience with the process. I end up accepting a lower standard just to see a difference. So, in 2024, there will also be less rushing and lots more patience. 

So, I am looking forward to a clearer and more focused year. Less for More in 2024!

Thank you for walking with me through 2023! May your 2024 be blessed.

Do you have a word or phrase for the year to come? 

A month of gratitude 2023 – Day 9 – Closed doors

In this post I reflect on the importance of accepting change and its consequences. Every situation presents important life lessons. Accepting these lessons inspires growth and reveals new opportunities.

This morning I woke up to a new reality. I had a door close gently in my face yesterday. I had instigated the change though in my own way so it wasn’t a complete surprise. It was a reminder that if there is one thing that is constant in life, it’s change. We always have 2 choices: resist or accept the change. As always, each choice has consequences.

Accept the Consequences

In Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes writes: “Difficult conversations are something of a gamble and you have to be willing to be okay with the outcome. And you have to know, going in, where you draw the line. You have to know when in the conversation you are going to say no. You have to know when you are going to say, “That doesn’t work for me.” You have to know when to say, “I’m done.” You have to know when to say, “This isn’t worth it.” “You aren’t worth it.”.

Five years ago I lashed out at someone out of sheer frustration. It was a knee jerk reaction more than a difficult conversation as such and I wasn’t prepared for the consequences so I resisted the change. I was broken and spent many months trying to undo what I perceived as “the damage” at the time. I felt terribly guilty until I read “Year of Yes” and realised that all that happened was that I wasn’t prepared for the consequences in that moment. I had made the decision internally but I wasn’t ready to act on it yet. Do you know what I mean?

Yesterday I lashed out, out of frustration again and once again it caused a door to close. This time I was ready. This time I can walk away in peace. While I probably could have handled the situation better, I was prepared mentally for the possible fallout making it easier to accept. Once you accept anything you tend to have peace and new paths become visible. It’s easier to move on. It is also easier to deal with any pain or disappoint that might form part of the consequence.

Image: Canva

Experiences Always Come with Lessons

So, today I am grateful for closed doors and the opportunities and possibilities that they represent. Every situation and relationship also presents lessons. One of the lessons that was reinforced for me was that people will always let you know what they are available for upfront. Sometimes they can be a vague but ignore it at your own peril. In this case, I wasn’t surprised by the way the person showed up eventually, I was more frustrated with myself because I saw the red flag when they raised it but, being the psychology student that I am, I was curious so I continued down the garden path and ended up at the dead-end that I knew was coming.

“Hope is the thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it and to work for it and to fight for it.”

Barack Obama

So despite all the red flags, all that evidence to the contrary, I lived in hope but alas, it was not to be. It was a beautiful garden path though and I am grateful I got to see the sights and have the experience.

It’s Called a Blindspot for a Reason

Another lesson I learned is that blindspots are called that for a reason. Sometimes people just can’t see how they get in their own way. I have of course done this for 99% of my life and probably still do far too often. Sometimes people are just nestled so deeply in their comfort zones that they are not prepared to make themselves uncomfortable again in order to achieve a higher goal. They see it, they want it but not just bad enough to do what it takes to get it. They have loads of excuses and keep pushing the goal out to a date in the future. This was the first time I consciously watched this play out. It was fascinating.

What I also learned was that it is far easier to accept that they will not achieve their goal if you remain an observer and don’t get involved. You can plant seeds but you have to accept that most will fall on rocky ground. Advice is free and it does come from the advisor’s point of view so it’s not really surprising that most people tend to ignore someone else’s advice or insight. Speaking for myself, I do find though that there is always at least something to contemplate when someone shares their thoughts with me. I believe that God is always guiding and directing us through others so I always try to pay attention to the guidance I receive. Sadly, I will never get to find out if any of the seeds I planted landed on fertile soil as this person is in a completely different social circle. I have faith that they will figure things out when they are ready to though.

Well that’s it from me today. How often do you look for the lessons when something comes to an end? Does it change how you show up in anyway? I invite you to let me know in the comments