What a question! I know I shouldn’t complain because it’s such negative energy but I do and I do it for several reasons. Sometimes it is out irritation with someone. Sometimes it is because I am feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes it’s out of irritation with myself and sometimes I just need to vent. I must admit though, while I am complaining, I am either physically rectifying the situation or I am thinking of ways to rectify the situation if possible.
I try hard not to whine though. I find that most annoying. People seem to do it when they want to behave like victims. I must admit that I have very little patience for the victim mindset. I am a firm believe of accepting what is, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward. Swiftly. I don’t see the point of getting stuck in a victim mentality. Not that I can’t empathise with it. We need to wallow in an issue initially to feel the pain so that we can acknowledge it and move on but getting stuck in wallowing helps no-one and that’s when I start losing my patience.
That being said, I did get really stuck in that whining phase after a break up with a boyfriend. I whined so much I irritated myself. Not my proudest moment and hats off to my friends for all sticking around to listen to me. I also have a friend who whined constantly and one day I asked her to take a moment and replay the last few minutes of our conversation in her head. I asked her what she heard. To her credit, she immediately said: “I sound like a victim.” She is a very strong woman and takes pride in that fact so you can imagine her shock and horror to discover that she had allowed herself to be a victim in a particular on-going situation. She has stopped complaining about that topic since then and is a more mindful of how she speaks about the things that upset her. Her energy has changed and she is taking control of her life. It is such a pleasure to witness.
So what is it that I complain about the most? According to my son, the state of our house when it needs to be tidied, not being able to find things in their usual spot (it drives me batty!) and my job (which would have been my first answer🤪)
What do you complain about?
Thanks for popping by. Be Blessed.
Grounded African 
While I agree that the victim mentality is unhealthy, I do think that we need to acknowledge that negative emotions and reactions do exist, and let ourselves experience them too – without allowing ourselves to become victims. It’s a very fine balance, but I velieve that ‘toxic positivity’ does exist and is also an unhealthy state of mind.
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💯! With this particular friend I had been hearing the same whining for over a year. It was draining me and her. It was time for her to snap out of it but only if she was ready to. Lucky, she saw it immediately and did and, like I said, it is amazing the positive change that realisation has brought in her life.
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In this insightful exploration of our most frequent complaints, I find myself nodding in agreement, particularly when it comes to the lamentable scarcity of common sense and basic manners in daily interactions. It’s disheartening to witness how these fundamental elements, which form the bedrock of a cohesive society, are often overlooked or neglected. To me, these grievances are not just about the annoyance of the moment; they are a call to reaffirm the values of thoughtfulness and respect in our collective consciousness. Your piece is truly a thought-provoking read.
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Thank you for your generous comment. My friend’s late mum always used to remind us that common sense is not a flower that grows in everyone’s garden when we got irritated with others which of course always made us laugh and made it easier to forgive and forget.
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